My Home, My Guidelines: No Wild Behavior from My Kids' Guests

I once had a friend whose children were quite the handful. And before you jump to conclusions, I have four kids myself, two of whom could easily be labeled “wild.” The challenge wasn’t the kids or their unique personalities; after all, kids will be kids. The real issue arose when my friend visited, allowing her children to run rampant. Meanwhile, my kids would stand by, giving me those looks that said, “Mom, what are you going to do about this mess?”

I’ll admit I’m a bit of a strict parent. For instance, jumping on the sofa is a big no-no. I want my children to respect our home and understand the importance of being courteous in other people’s spaces as well. They have plenty of opportunities for free play outside, and I’m not trying to stifle their spirits. But when it comes to my house, I have my rules.

Now, back to my friend. We have a spacious, unfinished basement that I affectionately refer to as “Kid Paradise.” It tends to look like a disaster zone, filled with costumes, dolls, and toys everywhere. I’m not too fussy about this area since it’s just concrete, and my kids love to blast music and have dance parties or play games down there. I appreciate having this space for rainy days and get-togethers. However, my friend’s kids would bang toys against the windows and chew on foam bullets. I had to pry Barbie accessories out of their mouths more times than I care to admit. Meanwhile, my friend would sit back, sipping from her thermos, seemingly oblivious to the chaos.

I know what you might be thinking: Just don’t invite her over again! But unfortunately, she wasn’t the only friend who acted this way. I understand that all parents need a break, but her relaxation came at my expense. Entering someone else’s home usually gives me a bit of anxiety, but for her, it seemed like an invitation to let her kids do whatever they pleased. I worried about potential injuries or damage, and I didn’t want their lack of supervision to send a message to my children that it’s okay to misbehave in someone else’s space.

So, what could I do? I try to avoid meddling in other parents’ affairs, but when a child is about to break something or choke on a battery (yes, that happened too), I draw the line. I realized something had to change. I could either take on the role of parenting her kids in front of her or assert our household rules. But how do you set boundaries for another parent’s children? Is that even acceptable?

I decided that each time other kids came over—unless they were regular visitors familiar with the rules—I would hold a brief meeting. I didn’t ask for the other parent’s approval; after all, it’s my house, my guidelines. I would greet the kids warmly, help them remove their coats and shoes, and then lay down the rules based on our planned activities.

For instance, if we were going outside, I would explain the boundaries, such as not going past a specific point in the driveway since we live on a busy street. I’d pull out toys from the garage to keep them safe, and let the kids know where the popsicles were if they wanted one. It was a simple approach, and I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of it sooner.

The key was to explain the rules in front of the other parent, allowing them to reinforce the expectations with their children. Sure, there were still instances where I had to remind a child about the rules, but those moments became infrequent. They usually occurred when the other parent had stepped away for a moment.

When playing in the basement, I would inform the kids about areas that were off-limits, like the windows and storage room. I would close the storage-room door, and as long as they adhered to a few simple guidelines, the space was very kid-friendly. I also made sure they knew where the bathroom was.

I also started setting explicit time limits for visits. I had a few friends who would linger for hours, which was just too long for me. Now, I’ll send a message saying, “Hey, want to come over Thursday? I’m thinking from 3:30 to 5:30 p.m., and then we need to prep for dinner.” This boundary has relieved so much stress.

I’m not referring to my best friend here; she’s welcome to help herself to snacks in my pantry. Her kids already know the drill: take off your shoes, and have a blast. But for others, they need a refresher on the rules. It makes for a more enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

I can’t anticipate how each family will approach playtime at my home, so a quick meeting with guests has made our interactions significantly smoother. I can relax a bit and enjoy adult conversations instead of constantly monitoring every infraction. These rules aren’t excessive; they’re about ensuring safety.

Interestingly, since implementing these meetings, my kids seem to enjoy having friends over more. When my friend’s children would start causing havoc, one of my kids would give me that look—the one that says, “I’m about to join in on that.” Younger kids are impressionable, and I didn’t want my kids picking up any bad habits.

Some may view this as overly strict, but I believe everyone should set expectations for their homes. It’s about teaching our children to respect others’ spaces, fostering a broader sense of respect in general. My rules are not better or worse than anyone else’s; they’re mine, and I expect both my kids and their friends to abide by them. I’m pleased to report that so far, everything is going great. Having friends over has become a far more enjoyable experience for everyone.

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In summary, establishing clear guidelines for playdates not only ensures safety but also fosters respect for personal spaces. By setting boundaries and communicating expectations, both parents and children can enjoy a more pleasant experience during visits.

Keyphrase: Home Playdate Guidelines

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My Home, My Guidelines: No Wild Behavior from My Kids’ Guests

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