The question of when a child should begin attending their Individualized Education Program (IEP) meetings is one that many parents grapple with. My straightforward answer: don’t wait until they turn 16.
Here’s the rationale: our goal isn’t just to raise children; we’re preparing them to become responsible adults. Self-advocacy is a critical skill that must be nurtured over time. Just as we wouldn’t expect a child to master tying their shoes or using public transport without practice, we need to equip our students with the tools and language necessary to advocate for themselves effectively.
Here’s how attending their IEP meetings can benefit students:
- Building the Vocabulary: Involving students in IEP meetings introduces them to essential terminology. This includes their diagnosis, the symptoms or challenges associated with their disability, the accommodations they need, and the language used to discuss these matters. If we expect our children to manage their own cases one day, they must become familiar with this vocabulary early on.
- Normalizing Their Needs: When sensitive topics are discussed in hushed tones or avoided, children may internalize a sense of shame about their challenges. By including them in these discussions, we demonstrate that having needs is a standard part of life. It’s crucial for them to understand that seeking help is a common human experience, and that everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Shielding them from these conversations only reinforces the idea that their struggles should be hidden.
- Encouraging Self-Expression: Once students understand their needs and have the right language, IEP meetings offer them a platform to practice articulating their requirements. Advocacy is much like a muscle—the more it’s exercised, the stronger it becomes. We certainly don’t want the first time our children express their needs to be under pressure from a demanding boss in the future. Starting early will make this process easier.
- Valuing Their Input: Have you heard the phrase, “Nothing about us without us”? Children deserve to have their voices heard in discussions that affect them. By inviting them to their IEP meetings, they learn that their opinions matter. Moreover, they are often the best source of insight into what strategies will help them thrive. For instance, your child might have creative solutions for managing anxiety in a crowded cafeteria. By involving them, we empower them to be part of the problem-solving process.
So, what age should this start? The earlier, the better. Even young children can attend for a short period to express their preferences and share what helps them in school. Preparation is key: discuss the purpose of the IEP meeting with them and consider helping them jot down their thoughts and questions. Gradually increase their involvement as they grow older. You won’t regret it.
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In summary, involving your child in IEP meetings from an early age fosters their self-advocacy skills, helps normalize their needs, and empowers them to contribute meaningfully to their educational journey.