My Children Have My Complete Support to Be ‘Rude’ to Creeps

“Just to be clear, you know you can be as rude as you want, right?”

“Of course, Mom. I get it.”

“You can shout any curse words you like. Make everyone stare.”

“You’ve told me a million times.”

“Make them think you’re totally off your rocker. Let them know you could ruin their day.”

“Ugh, okay! Scream, flail, and act as rude and wild as I can. Got it, Mom.”

This was a recent conversation with my 11-year-old daughter, one we’ve had several times. I’ve had similar talks with my son, although my concerns have shifted as he’s grown older. At 15, he’s statistically less likely to be targeted, so my discussions with him focus on being an upstander and respecting others’ boundaries just as much as they do on self-protection. I don’t want him to be one of those oblivious guys who unknowingly frightens a young woman walking alone at night because he’s too wrapped up in his own world to see how he might come off as threatening. I also want him to feel empowered enough to confront anyone who’s bothering someone else.

I have these important discussions with my kids because I want them to grasp that, despite everything I teach about kindness and respect, creepy individuals—those who disrespect their space or act in a way that raises alarms—don’t deserve politeness or consideration. My children’s safety is my top priority, and the comfort of others pales in comparison.

Social etiquette falls by the wayside when safety is at stake, so when the situation calls for it, they should absolutely be rude.

How to Be Rude

I’ve been instructing my kids for years to “be rude”—to stand up for themselves and assert their right to their own bodies. However, after watching TikTok user @spirtual_af’s “I’m not nice” series, particularly one video, I became more explicit with my messaging. She asks, “Why does every family have a creepy Uncle Jimmy or creepy Uncle Eddie? Why is it okay to warn kids about someone but not openly discuss what makes them creepy?”

She’s spot on. Even adults sometimes downplay their discomfort with certain people to maintain peace. Why do we do this? It only enables inappropriate behavior to continue unchecked, effectively giving them a free pass.

Don’t Give Them a Pass

@spirtual_af challenges, “Why aren’t you willing to say in the moment, ‘That’s really creepy, Eddie,’ or ‘I don’t want my child around you’?” Again, she’s right. If nobody calls out the creep, that person can continue to believe their behavior is acceptable or, worse, that they can get away with it.

“We don’t need to send every perpetrator to jail to stop this,” she says. “You have to speak up, even if it makes you uncomfortable.”

These scenarios aren’t all or nothing. Dealing with a creepy Uncle Jimmy doesn’t necessarily mean he should be jailed. He might not have committed an act warranting legal action yet, but if he’s acting inappropriate—getting too close, leering, etc.—it’s essential to call it out. Shine a light on it. Let him know that you and others are watching and that his behavior is unacceptable.

I take this advice even further with my kids, especially my daughter. Sure, be rude. Be impolite. But also, let people think you’re a little off your rocker. You have my full support.

“Politeness Protects Predators”

I’ve shared the above video from TikTok user @gabin.sarah multiple times with my kids. It gives me joy to watch her disregard social norms because this guy was acting like a complete creep and ignoring all her signals that she was uncomfortable.

I want to empower my daughter and educate my son. “Don’t hesitate to be that girl who makes everyone think she’s lost it to protect her own safety,” I tell her. “And don’t be that guy who needs to be yelled at for being a creep,” I tell him.

As @spirtual_af states, “Politeness protects predators.” This is true for all kinds of predators, who thrive on not being noticed or called out.

So notice them. Call them out. Make them aware that we’re watching. Teach your children to be rude when necessary. Encourage them to trust their instincts when they sense danger. Their physical and emotional safety takes precedence over any social niceties.

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Summary

In this article, the author discusses the importance of teaching children to be assertive and “rude” when dealing with creepy individuals. Emphasizing safety over social etiquette, the author encourages children to trust their instincts and confront inappropriate behavior without hesitation.

Keyphrase: teaching kids to be assertive

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