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Women on TikTok are banding together to expose a frustrating behavior known as weaponized incompetence, using the hashtag #WeaponizedIncompetence. If you’ve ever felt a surge of anger watching certain TikToks, you’re not alone. This concept is deeply infuriating.
For those unfamiliar with the term, weaponized incompetence refers to the act of pretending to be inept at tasks so that someone else will take over. This is often why women end up shouldering the majority of household chores and parenting duties—because their partners act as if they can’t manage these responsibilities, making it “easier” for women to just do it themselves.
This concept is closely related to the idea of emotional labor. Even if a husband does participate in household tasks, if a wife has to constantly remind him what to do and how to do it, it becomes an additional burden on her. The act of asking him to help becomes yet another chore.
Why do many fathers get to enjoy sleeping in, taking long showers, or disappearing for extended bathroom breaks? Is it because they claim they’re not good at helping? Laura Danger, an educator who conducts workshops to address these dynamics, suggests that if dads get to enjoy these perks, moms should too.
A glaring example of this incompetence can be seen in a TikTok where a husband unplugged a wax melter but carelessly allowed the cord to fall into the hot wax. Now, if she asks him to do it again, she’ll have to remind him not to let the cord touch the wax. It’s likely she’ll decide to handle it herself to avoid the risk of a fire caused by his negligence.
Are moms really expected to manage adult men who can’t even figure out which way a clothing tag goes? In a TikTok, a dad struggles to dress his six-year-old daughter correctly. After years of parenting, he still can’t manage something so basic? Why is the standard so low for fathers?
One TikTok user illustrates this issue in a mock conversation where a woman asks her husband to help clean the house, expressing her stress. His reply? “You know I don’t notice stuff like that; you have to tell me what to do.” Utterly infuriating!
Some may argue, “At least he’s willing to help,” but let’s be clear: this isn’t just “help.” The responsibilities of maintaining a household should be equally shared, not something women simply manage while receiving occasional assistance.
Having to explain what needs to be done and how to do it adds another layer of stress. Why can’t partners simply see the mess and take the initiative to clean it up?
And let’s set the record straight: a father is not a “babysitter”; he is a parent. This type of behavior is disrespectful and shows a lack of concern for the additional work created by such laziness. It’s time for men to step up and be true partners, not additional dependents in the household.
This issue is a continuation of generations of ingrained misogyny, and it’s essential for men today to set better examples for their sons and be equal partners with their wives. In 2021, it’s clear that men can manage household tasks like laundry. Enough is enough.
For more on this topic, check out one of our other blog posts here. If you’re looking for reliable resources, visit Make a Mom, an authority on home insemination, or explore what to expect when undergoing your first IUI here.
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Summary:
Women are utilizing TikTok to highlight the frustrating trend of weaponized incompetence among men, where they feign inability to avoid responsibilities. This behavior forces women to take on more household and parenting duties, often leading to additional emotional labor. Men are encouraged to become equal partners and take responsibility for their share of household tasks.
Keyphrase: weaponized incompetence
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