When I was in my early 20s, I had a friend named Lisa. Lisa was vibrant, witty, and had an uncanny knack for finding the best late-night eateries and obscure music events. She was truly one of a kind.
One evening, while at a bar, a charming guy walked past us and instead of approaching Lisa, he engaged with another woman who conformed more closely to traditional beauty standards—blonde hair and a revealing outfit. As I observed their laughter, Lisa erupted into a harsh critique of the woman’s appearance and perceived intellect. I was taken aback. This woman had simply dressed up, hoping for a connection. What made her so different from either of us?
“Why are you so upset with her?” I inquired. “Shouldn’t your frustration be directed at the guy for overlooking you?”
My questions fell on deaf ears as Lisa continued her tirade, a behavior I later realized was not exclusive to her. In another instance, a friend nearing graduation from a prestigious MBA program overheard another female classmate mockingly dismissing her chances of landing a job based on her appearance. And then there was the time a man I was dating declared he could never work for a woman, an opinion echoed by several other women present.
Fast forward to today, many of us who once navigated these social challenges in our 20s are now in our 30s, often balancing roles as wives and mothers. It’s disheartening to see the same critical behaviors persist—now focused on parenting choices: working versus staying home, breastfeeding versus formula feeding, co-sleeping versus sleep training.
This ongoing competition among women is evident, but it doesn’t have to be this way. Not all mothers succumb to such judgmental attitudes, just as not all young women engaged in rivalry at bars. However, considering the prevalent “mommy wars” and the negativity that often surrounds motherhood, it’s clear we need a shift in our approach.
We must start by instilling values in our daughters. We should teach them to cherish their friendships, whether they’re little girls painting together or tweens enjoying sleepovers. It’s essential to correct derogatory comments when we hear them calling other girls “ugly” or “fat” and to encourage support at their friends’ events. We should also be mindful of the media we consume, steering them away from shows that promote female disrespect.
Additionally, we need to examine our behavior closely. Children observe our actions and hear our words. They take note when we judge another woman for her choices, whether it’s breastfeeding in public or managing her career. They see our reactions to fellow mothers struggling in public, and they absorb these lessons.
We don’t have to perpetuate the “mean girl” mentality of our youth. By fostering supportive relationships among girls from an early age, we can hope for a future where they grow into women who uplift each other as mothers. With the right guidance, the so-called “mommy wars” could one day just be a relic of the past, a humorous anecdote from old blog posts or sociology classes.
As for that conventionally attractive woman at the bar who incited my friend’s ire—she too may now be navigating motherhood, perhaps experiencing her own challenges and moments of vulnerability. Wishing her well is a step towards fostering a community of support among women.
For more information about the journey of home insemination, check out this article which provides insights on the tools available. You can also explore this comprehensive guide for couples looking to navigate their fertility journey, as well as this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Women should prioritize support and solidarity over competition, beginning with instilling these values in our daughters. By teaching young girls to celebrate their friendships and respect one another, we can work towards a future devoid of the judgment and rivalry that often characterizes female relationships.
Keyphrase: female solidarity in motherhood
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]