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During my nine years in education, I often encountered students who were frustrated—some even furious—when I didn’t respond to their late-night or weekend emails. They would send frantic messages about printer malfunctions or computer crashes that erased their assignments, filled with urgent messages in all caps. If I didn’t respond because I was asleep or spending time with my family, their agitation only grew.
As a former educator and a mother of four, I genuinely appreciate when my children’s teachers refrain from replying to emails during weekends, evenings, or holidays. When I do reach out—often at those very times—I make it clear that I don’t expect an immediate response. It’s commendable that they prioritize their time and have established boundaries regarding their work.
Many parents express their frustration—seen in online parenting groups—when teachers don’t reply within minutes of receiving an email. My take? Good for the teacher! They’re often overworked and underappreciated. While they have a passion for teaching, it’s important to remember that it shouldn’t consume their entire lives. Unfortunately, some parents and older students feel entitled to the teacher’s time and energy, which is quite unreasonable. The only way for teachers to push back is to simply not respond.
In today’s world, it’s crucial for teachers—and everyone else in the workforce—to safeguard their peace. Achieving a healthy work-life balance and setting clear boundaries is essential. Otherwise, it’s easy to become trapped in a cycle of constant responses. Every decision comes with a cost, and often that cost is missing out on precious moments with family, neglecting self-care, or failing to manage other responsibilities.
I consulted Dr. Emily Richards, a psychologist and clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at NYU School of Medicine, about the significance of work-life boundaries. She emphasized that boundaries are vital for ensuring we feel fulfilled across various aspects of our lives and for preventing burnout. We must acknowledge that we cannot do everything, and establishing boundaries allows us to succeed without overwhelming ourselves.
Setting clear boundaries not only benefits us but also serves as a model for others, whether it be a teacher demonstrating this to students or someone illustrating it to their family. I’ve noticed that when I establish boundaries in my own life, my children take notice. For instance, I’ve taught them that when my bathroom door is closed, they should knock and wait for a response before entering. Consequently, they learn that they, too, can create their own space by closing their bedroom doors when they need privacy.
Understanding what healthy boundaries look like in practice is crucial. Dr. Richards suggests we can “turn off all electronics and avoid checking emails after a certain time.” I’ve seen writers include a note in their email signatures indicating their response hours and days, which is a brilliant way to inform others of their availability.
We can also establish a boundary by leaving work at a designated time each day. There will always be more tasks to complete, so we shouldn’t use that as an excuse to work late into the night. It’s time to reclaim our hours.
Moreover, she highlighted the importance of embracing the word “no.” Sometimes saying no means saying yes to ourselves. We often feel the need to justify our no with lengthy explanations, almost apologizing for having boundaries. It’s worth noting that a simple no is a complete sentence.
Dr. Richards also advises that we communicate our needs to those who need to hear them, particularly our supervisors. If you’re on the brink of burnout and have done all you can on your own, it’s time to explore other options.
While teachers often connect with their colleagues, Dr. Richards reminds us to break free from work discussions during leisure time. When I socialized with fellow educators, we often ended up “talking shop,” which didn’t alleviate stress. Expanding our social circles or spending time with a partner or alone can be refreshing.
Dr. Richards empathizes with teachers, noting the additional stress brought on by the pandemic. Besides their usual stressors, they now face COVID-19 challenges, which makes establishing healthy boundaries even more essential.
Asking ourselves, “What do I need right now?” and reflecting on what’s working and what isn’t can greatly aid in maintaining a work-life balance. Answering these questions can reveal small changes that can enhance our well-being.
I find that my children’s teachers exemplify healthy email boundaries, showing my kids that they have lives outside of school that deserve respect. In turn, my children are learning that they also have the right to establish boundaries and honor their needs. If only the broader community could adopt this mindset, we’d all be better off.