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I’ve always leaned towards being an introvert—enjoying my own company, dealing with social anxiety, and becoming easily overwhelmed by crowds and stimuli. The pandemic has ramped up all of these tendencies, making me feel as though I’ve completely forgotten how to engage with others.
Picture this: I stumble through conversations, babbling away only to later replay them in my mind and think, “What were you even saying? Did that make any sense?” I worry that I come off as rude or dull, and I often feel like I can’t hold a decent conversation even with my close friends. Interactions with acquaintances are next-level awkward.
When someone asks how I’m doing, I honestly struggle to respond. Should I confess that I’m feeling overwhelmed and fatigued by everything that’s happened, or should I share my gratitude for my family’s safety, even though I sometimes feel like crying? Oftentimes, I end up saying something generic like, “I’m fine, how are you?” only to immediately regret whether I overshared or didn’t say enough. It’s mentally draining.
There are a few reasons for my social struggles. My tolerance for small talk has drastically decreased; I’ve become selective about who I spend time with. The last couple of years have been about choosing who I want in my life. Some friendships have strengthened, while others faded away. I’ve even reconnected with old friends based on shared values, despite not being close in the past. Social distancing has made me avoid gatherings, further intensifying my social anxiety. I feel like I’ve forgotten how to interact normally.
This cycle of awkwardness seems to repeat: feel awkward, avoid people, feel more awkward. While it’s not necessarily bad that I’ve streamlined my social circle, I don’t want to be a hermit, hiding away whenever I encounter acquaintances or strangers. I want to engage in conversation without the sweaty palms and racing heart or the anxiety of replaying a brief chat in my head late at night.
I don’t have any magic solutions, except perhaps the cliché advice to just “get back on the horse” and navigate through awkward moments. We should also cut ourselves some slack and be honest about how we feel—because let’s face it, no one is really “fine” these days.
To my fellow introverts feeling similar struggles, you’re not alone—I see you and understand you. And to everyone else, please show patience; social interactions are incredibly challenging right now.
If you’re looking for more insights, check out one of our other blog posts here. Additionally, for those interested in learning more about at-home insemination, Make a Mom offers trusted resources. For pregnancy-related information, March of Dimes is also an excellent resource.
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In summary, the pandemic has significantly affected my social interactions, making them feel more awkward than ever. I grapple with how to communicate and connect with others, feeling overwhelmed by both my emotions and the current state of the world.
Keyphrase: Pandemic social anxiety
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