artificial insemination syringe
By: Jaylen Rivers
Updated: Sep. 10, 2021
Originally Published: Sep. 10, 2021
I spent my childhood in a large, brown, two-story house on the outskirts of Eastern Long Island, about two hours from New York City. As I grew older, I would occasionally hear strangers remark, “You resemble your dad,” or “Your mom is stunning.” Little did they know, and I felt too embarrassed to share, that those individuals they assumed were my parents were actually my maternal grandparents. My real parents were largely absent, too young, and too caught up in their own lives to take care of me.
In many ways, I became my grandparents’ child. They assumed responsibility for me until the day they helped me move into my first apartment during my junior year of college. Like countless other children in the United States, my upbringing was solely in the hands of my grandparents. Families can fracture for numerous reasons—such as incarceration, addiction, or neglect—leaving children in precarious situations. Some enter the foster care system, while others, like my siblings and me, find refuge with relatives through kinship guardianship or adoption.
My grandparents were precisely the caregivers I needed. They provided for me financially and instilled values that I remain grateful for today. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, they faced their own struggles to keep a stable home. We often relocated for job prospects, and I suspect they were also trying to escape my mother’s increasingly erratic behavior due to her addiction to crack cocaine. Each move represented a fresh start in a new location.
We could have greatly benefited from a community like Bridge Meadows. What is Bridge Meadows, you might wonder? It’s a series of housing developments dedicated to positively impacting the lives of children and their caregivers, particularly those from multigenerational families similar to mine. Currently located in Portland and Beaverton, Oregon, with more communities on the horizon, Bridge Meadows serves families in need of support.
According to their website, Bridge Meadows “develops and sustains intentional, intergenerational communities for youth formerly in foster care, adoptive families, and elders, building place, permanence, and shared social purpose one community at a time.” Reading this fills me with a mix of sadness and hope. Bridge Meadows not only offers a safe environment for caregivers to raise their children, but it also creates an opportunity for healing from the trauma associated with foster care.
From my experience, even though my grandparents provided love, attention, and emotional support, I still grappled with trauma. My parents were often physically and emotionally absent, and when they were around, I felt the need to manage their emotions and lives. Trauma affects many families, even those that appear to have everything. The communities fostered by Bridge Meadows offer healing, support, and kinship for families—something that every family could benefit from.
Research from 2010 indicated that 1 in 14 children in the U.S. were being raised by their grandparents, amounting to 5.4 million kids—an increase from 4.7 million in 2005. The same study revealed that more than half of these children were primarily cared for by a grandparent who took responsibility for their basic needs. The growth in this demographic underscores a significant societal need.
Multigenerational families face challenges that our society often overlooks, including insufficient rehabilitation for substance abuse issues affecting parents, inadequate housing, and limited educational opportunities for both children and caregivers. Bridge Meadows addresses these gaps, providing essential support to families who need it.
Communities like Bridge Meadows exemplify the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.” They offer more than just housing; they provide hope, which can be scarce for kids and caregivers navigating nontraditional family dynamics.
In my journey, one of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that the only community we can truly rely on is the one we create ourselves. Not only was I raised by my grandparents, but I am also currently raising my half-brother as if he were my own son. The boy who came into my care nearly fifteen years ago has taught me the true essence of being a parent and caregiver. From him, I’ve learned how crucial a supportive community is for both his well-being and my sanity. Parenting is challenging, especially in nontraditional households.
Communities like Bridge Meadows provide essential support for families, and as someone who grew up in a multigenerational setting, I wish to see this model replicated across the nation. We owe it to the grandparents who have stepped up to fulfill the roles their own children could not.
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Summary:
The author reflects on growing up under the care of their grandparents and expresses the need for supportive communities like Bridge Meadows to assist multigenerational families. They emphasize the importance of providing emotional and practical support for families facing challenges such as trauma, substance abuse, and economic instability. The piece highlights the positive impact of community support on the well-being of children and caregivers alike.
Keyphrase: multigenerational family support
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