We need to rescue her!
When trying to sell something dreadful on platforms like Craigslist or Facebook, it’s common to embellish the item’s qualities. However, one clever woman chose to be brutally honest in her quest to rehome her troublesome rooster.
According to reports on Someecards, Lisa Thompson raises chickens, including one particularly obnoxious rooster that she’s completely fed up with. Her Facebook post advertising this feathered menace is refreshingly candid – he truly sounds like a nightmare. It’s clear that her sleepless nights due to this feathered tyrant are taking a toll.
“FREE to a good home. Well, honestly, I’m open to any home at this point. I really don’t care where this inconsiderate jerk ends up: ASSHOLE ROOSTER,” her post begins. And it only gets worse for Mr. Rooster from there.
“He’s the ideal rooster if your alarm clock has bitten the dust and you need to be jolted awake at 5:30 a.m. That’s his sole setting: 5:30. There’s no snooze button, but he will be quiet just long enough for you to drift back to sleep, only to blast you with his annoying crowing right outside your window.”
So… basically like a toddler? We suspect that no amount of cartoons or juice boxes will quiet this guy down for just 15 more minutes of rest.
“It’s as if he has a radar for where you sleep, honing in on that specific window. Maybe he has some sort of x-ray vision for detecting slumbering humans behind walls.”
Okay, that does sound a lot like a toddler!
To her credit, Lisa does attempt to list some perks of having this mostly unbearable bird.
“He’s also a fantastic rooster if you’re looking to get in shape… running around your yard… while trying to escape from him. He no longer attacks me, as he has taken on the role of an interpretive dance instructor.”
Dance and cardio? What a steal!
“Or at least that’s what I imagine it looked like as I chased after him, flapping my arms, jumping up and down, yelling, and swinging a mop in his direction.”
Oh, that doesn’t sound like much fun at all.
“So, if you want an alarm clock that only goes off at 5:30 a.m., a personal trainer, and a dance instructor, I have the perfect rooster that can fulfill all three roles FOR FREE!”
The only requirement?
“But you’ll need to come catch this jerk; I want to see your first interpretive dance lesson.” We’re all in favor of that performance, Lisa. Good luck!
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In summary, Lisa Thompson is desperately seeking a new home for her obnoxious rooster, who has become the bane of her sleepless nights. With a comedic flair, she highlights his many “talents,” including waking you up at the crack of dawn and providing some unexpected cardio. If you’re looking for a unique pet, this rooster might just be the one for you!
Keyphrase: Sleep-Deprived Woman’s Rooster
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