You Don’t Need to Subject Your Toddler to Potty Training Bootcamp

When my twins arrived, I found myself with three little ones in diapers. The challenges of diapering—the mess, the expense, the odor, and the struggle of dressing them—were overwhelming. Despite my distaste for diapers, I never felt compelled to rush my children into potty training. I had heard tales of parents who trained their toddlers by interpreting their cues and rushing them to the toilet, as well as those who simply stripped away diapers, expecting their kids to adapt. That approach didn’t appeal to me.

I was also reassured not to stress about my children’s potty training journey. “You’ve never seen a college kid wearing diapers, right?” someone once said. While amusing, that statement doesn’t reflect reality—and I’ve seen a lot during my time at Penn State!

My approach to potty training was laid-back, allowing my kids to take the lead. I did focus a bit more on my son, as preschool required him to be potty trained, but I never subjected my children to an intense or structured training regimen. You don’t need to either! Here’s some advice from a parent who has moved beyond diapers.

They Need to Be Ready

The saying “you can lead a horse to water but can’t make it drink” applies here. Toddlers are notoriously stubborn and will resist control. If your child shows no interest in using the toilet or is comfortable in their dirty diaper, starting potty training may lead to frustration for both of you, resulting in more laundry and mess.

Fortunately, my oldest began to show interest in potty training shortly after her siblings were born. Daycare introduced her to mini toilets after diaper changes, which piqued her curiosity. We bought a small potty for home and encouraged her to give it a try. Pull-ups helped for a while, but what really motivated her was choosing her own underwear. Once she started to associate using the potty with keeping her underwear clean, the process clicked.

During the initial weeks, I reminded her to try using the potty every couple of hours, sometimes offering small rewards like M&Ms for motivation. However, I never forced or threatened her. Yes, there were accidents, and I felt anxious about them, but we avoided a power struggle.

Find the Right Potty and Method

We experimented with various mini potties, but my daughters disliked the splashing. So, we opted for a seat insert for the regular toilet, complete with handles and a step stool to help them climb up and down easily.

My son was initially afraid of the big toilet and also didn’t like the splashing from the small potties. We started by having him sit on the closed toilet lid to familiarize him with the concept. Eventually, he sat on the seat insert, first with clothes on, then without. I guided him on how to position himself to prevent mishaps. It took longer for him to master pooping, and I ended up discarding several pairs of underwear along the way. He wanted to learn but faced challenges.

There’s no way my son would have thrived in a three-day potty training boot camp just because I decided he was ready.

You Might Face Setbacks

Navigating potty training can be tricky and wearisome, so it’s vital for your child to willingly participate. Kids should never be punished for setbacks or accidents. According to Rebecca Parlakian, a senior director at Zero to Three, “Kids learn new skills through practice and repetition and opportunities to fail.”

Regression is normal, and it can stem from various factors like constipation, moving, new siblings, or accidents. Anxiety and shame can exacerbate regression, so it’s essential to stay calm and boost your child’s confidence through praise. Always keep an extra set of clothes handy!

Patience is key during this significant transition for your child. Many kids are ready to start potty training between 18 and 24 months, but most are ready by age three. Every child is different, and unless they are eager to ditch the diapers, the process will be challenging for everyone involved.

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In summary, potty training doesn’t have to be a stressful boot camp experience. Every child is unique, and it’s crucial to allow them to lead the way in this significant milestone.

Keyphrase: Potty training toddlers

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