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Dear Claire,
You’ve spent half your life living through this pandemic, yet you won’t remember any of it. How I envy you for that. It will be a while before you learn what a virus is and how profoundly this past year altered our lives. I’m writing this for you to read when you’re older and able to grasp its significance.
Just recently, you reunited with friends you hadn’t seen since the pandemic began. The sheer joy on your face, the laughter and excitement as you ran around together, was a beautiful sight. It reminded me of how much you’ve grown since Covid turned our lives upside down.
When you’re older, some might call this a ‘lost year,’ but for us, it was a time of discovery and connection. Before everything changed, we lived a fairly normal life. I frequently worked long shifts in the ER, taught, or traveled for research, while your mom commuted daily to Manhattan for her job. We often rushed to pick you up from daycare, juggling deadlines and train delays.
Then, in March 2020, everything shifted. For the next seven months, you were with us every waking hour. I won’t pretend it was easy; parenting during a pandemic came with its challenges. Balancing work and keeping you entertained was a constant battle. I worried deeply about your safety. Every time I returned home after treating Covid patients, I flinched at your eager hugs. I can’t imagine how confusing that was for you, as I feared infecting the very person I was trying to protect.
Over time, we found our rhythm. I marveled at your growth, learning everything I could about you while teaching you in return. I discovered your ticklish spot under your chin and how you giggled every time you conducted an imaginary orchestra with a loose screw from the elevator.
When the pandemic began, you barely spoke and were still finding your feet. Now, we share conversations and inside jokes, but it will take time before we can fully discuss what we experienced together.
Unlike many families, we were fortunate not to lose anyone to this virus. Although this past year was tough on us, I know it was even harder for others. Earlier this year, as Covid continued to spread, your baby brother joined our family. His first moments in the world were marked by bright lights and N95 masks. Watching you with him now is heartwarming; you care for him, trying to feed him, and I can see the bond between you growing stronger.
The pandemic isn’t over, and I’m uncertain of what lies ahead. I feel both excitement and anxiety as I prepare to send you to 3-K at our local public school. My worries are ever-present, especially after losing patients and colleagues to this virus. Yet, the moments spent with you—whether escaping to the beach or strolling around the neighborhood—were the highlights of my days.
There may be no positive side to a pandemic, but it did bring us closer as a family. I will always cherish the time we spent together during this challenging period.
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