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When children are young, they often cling to their parents, leading others to advise, “Enjoy it while it lasts.” As they transition into their teenage years, the narrative shifts. Suddenly, the same kids who once needed you for everything seem to want nothing to do with you.
Take my 14-year-old, for instance. He was once a baby who couldn’t be put down without a tantrum. Now, he’s more likely to be found in his room or out with friends, leaving me longing for a shred of that closeness. His most common phrase these days? “Can you get out of my room?”
I understand this is a normal part of growing up, and I’m genuinely proud of him for building friendships and discovering his identity. However, I can’t help but feel a little heartbroken. As a mom, the urge to feel needed is a strong one. I might have complained about being his 24/7 caregiver, but I never realized how much I would miss being that essential figure in his life.
According to Dr. Laura Mitchell, a psychologist specializing in adolescent behavior, this feeling is quite common among parents. While it may seem like teenagers don’t want us around, the truth is they still need us—just in a different way. They benefit from our presence even without direct interaction.
Dr. Mitchell explains that research shows having at least one parent nearby during after-school hours provides significant psychological benefits to teens. Interestingly, just being present can be more valuable than engaging in activities together. Think of yourself as a potted plant on a windowsill—your mere existence offers them comfort and stability.
This metaphor resonates deeply. While our teenagers may not require us to engage in playtime anymore, they still appreciate knowing we’re there, ready to step in if needed. I witnessed this firsthand recently when my son participated in a theater production. Despite seeming distant during rehearsals, he eventually reached out for support after the show, asking me to sit with him and chat.
Moments like this remind us that parenting teens is about balance. We need to give them space while remaining a reliable source of support. They need to know they can rely on us as a safe haven when things get overwhelming.
In the end, it’s crucial to trust the process. By allowing them to navigate their independence while being there in the background, we can help them flourish.
For more insights on this subject, check out this blog post, or explore resources from Make A Mom, and the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development.
Search Queries:
- Understanding Teen Independence
- How to Support Your Teen
- Signs Your Teen Needs You
- Navigating the Teenage Years
- Parenting Strategies for Teens
In summary, while teens may appear to push their parents away, they still need our presence and support. Being a “potted plant parent” allows us to provide the stability they crave while giving them the independence they seek.
Keyphrase: Teens and Potted Plant Parenting
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