Abstract:
This article examines the societal perceptions surrounding parental responsibilities, particularly focusing on the notion that fathers “help” with their children. It advocates for the recognition of shared parenting as a standard practice rather than an exceptional act.
Introduction:
It’s essential to address a pressing concern regarding the perception of fathers in parenting roles—a lingering societal issue. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to exist in a society where men aren’t placed on a pedestal for merely participating in their children’s lives? A world where their involvement is seen as a standard expectation, not a remarkable feat?
Discussion:
We are in a transitional phase toward achieving gender equality, with ongoing struggles for equal rights in various spheres, including the workplace. Historically, men have taken on the role of breadwinners while women have been the primary caregivers. However, as we evolve, it feels as though we should have progressed further than we have by now.
In my own family, my husband, Jake, and I share a joyful marriage and a bustling household of six children. During the weekdays—specifically from 6 a.m. until 5:30 p.m.—we operate as though we were single parents, dividing our responsibilities. Mornings find me preparing breakfast, packing lunches, ensuring the kids are dressed appropriately, and walking them to school. I then return home with the younger ones, keeping the twins out of mischief, reading stories, and putting everyone down for their naps.
Jake steps in at 12:30 p.m., overseeing the children while they rest. He engages them in play, organizes activities with friends, and manages their homework. He knows where to find all their school documents, signs their reading logs, and ensures the kitchen remains tidy for the next day. He even takes care of feeding the baby and changing diapers when needed.
While I am grateful for his efforts, this is not an extraordinary act. It is simply what being a parent entails.
Many are taken aback by our arrangement, often saying, “It must be nice to have a husband who helps out.” But I remind them that I am not the sole parent in this endeavor. Jake actively chose to become a father, and therefore, he is fully committed to the role.
He understands that my career enhances my capabilities as a mother. While this may not apply universally, it is true for us. He willingly supports my professional pursuits, recognizing their value.
When Jake watches the kids so I can write or when I spend time with friends from my book club, he is not just “helping.” He is parenting. The distinction is crucial: friends, babysitters, and nannies provide assistance, but fathers engage in parenting.
This clarity is vital.
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Summary:
In conclusion, we must redefine societal views on fatherhood and parental responsibilities. Recognizing shared parenting as the norm rather than an exception is essential for achieving true gender equality.
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