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The Netflix documentary Pray Away, directed by Kristine Stolakis, offers a revealing look into the world of conversion therapy, exploring its origins and the alarming escalation of its practices before it was ultimately condemned as both abusive and ineffective.
The phrase “pray the gay away” encapsulates the documentary’s focus on former leaders of the conversion therapy movement, specifically those associated with Living Hope Ministries and Exodus International. The film also features a man who claims he has detransitioned in the name of faith and now seeks to convert other queer individuals. While the documentary sometimes veers into the absurd—highlighting the lengths to which individuals go to deceive themselves and others—it remains a deeply moving account that evokes significant emotional pain.
The Quest for Acceptance
Conversion therapy emerged from church basements, where LGBTQ+ individuals sought solace among others grappling with their sexuality. This internal conflict was perpetuated by their churches and loved ones, who insisted that their identities were sinful and in need of change. Lacking the support to embrace their true selves, many resigned themselves to a damaging narrative that justified their suffering. The tragic cycle further perpetuates the belief that through prayer and faith, they could “heal” and become straight.
The most heartbreaking aspect of Pray Away is how it exploits a fundamental human desire for acceptance and love. Countless individuals have experienced the torment of fearing abandonment by Christ and the loneliness of being part of a community that demands they remain closeted and in pain. Conversion therapy is predicated not only on the belief that God can transform sexual orientation but also on the false premise that being queer or transgender is a mental illness. Research indicates that conversion therapy does not work and instead inflicts significant harm. According to a peer-reviewed study published in the American Journal of Public Health and reported by The Trevor Project, LGBTQ+ youth who undergo conversion therapy are twice as likely to attempt suicide.
This grim reality led to the closure of Exodus in 2013, when its leaders issued apologies to the LGBTQ+ community—many of whom were queer themselves and had once perpetuated the harmful myths that contributed to the suffering of so many. Watching these former leaders recount their stories is painful; while they too were victims of a damaging system, their remorse feels insufficient in light of the harm they caused.
Confronting Personal Trauma
During a visit with my mother and her partner before my senior year of college, I faced her relentless pressure to find a “good Christian man.” She pushed until I finally revealed my sexual orientation. In response, she introduced me to her boyfriend, Tom, who had openly identified as gay but sought redemption through religion. This dynamic was further complicated by my mother’s desire to cling to a relationship with Tom, which reinforced her rejection of my identity.
While I wasn’t subjected to formal conversion therapy, my mother and Tom prayed for my “salvation,” hoping I would embrace a heterosexual lifestyle. My mother ultimately rejected my same-sex relationship, believing my identity contradicted her religious beliefs. This experience left me grappling with unresolved anger and anxiety, which I inadvertently projected onto my partner after watching the documentary. Our discussion illuminated my lingering feelings about rejection and societal expectations.
Self-Care After “Pray Away”
Before viewing the documentary, I had been cautioned by other LGBTQ+ advocates about its emotional toll. Despite my preparations, I found myself unsettled by the content. Fortunately, years of therapy and a supportive network helped me navigate my feelings. It’s crucial for anyone watching Pray Away to utilize their resources for emotional support, whether through therapy or connecting with organizations like The Trevor Project and other mental health professionals. Remember, you are not obligated to watch if it’s too distressing; your well-being comes first.
Among the positive outcomes of the film is the story of Julie Rogers, a former conversion therapy participant who has emerged as a powerful advocate for LGBTQ+ youth. After her experience, she authored Outlove: A Queer Christian Survival Story and founded the Outlove Project, which aims to support at-risk queer youth. Her journey signifies hope and resilience amid adversity, reminding us that we can rise above the pain and live authentically.
Keep striving for love and acceptance in your life.
Summary
Pray Away exposes the damaging effects of conversion therapy on the LGBTQ+ community, illustrating how it preys on individuals’ desires for acceptance. The documentary highlights personal narratives that reveal the trauma caused by the movement and emphasizes the importance of community support and self-care in the aftermath of such experiences.
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