When It Comes to Inclusion, Other States Should Look to Massachusetts

In just over a month, my partner, Alex, and I will mark a decade of marriage. Like any couple, we’ve faced our share of challenges, including attending couples therapy on two occasions. I often quip that if something were to happen to Alex, I wouldn’t remarry; the effort required to maintain a relationship can be overwhelming. From interpreting body language to navigating each other’s shifting interests, and making significant life decisions like purchasing a home or starting a family, it can be a lot. Yet, the love we share makes it all worthwhile.

Reflecting on our early days together, I remember the excitement and nervousness of a new relationship: the cuddles, the dinners, and the blissful chaos of meeting family and friends. At that time, terms like “inclusivity” and “same-sex marriage” were gaining traction, but they were still relatively new concepts. The few who embraced them were often members of the LGBTQIA+ community, advocating for equality and acceptance.

Inclusivity extends beyond just changing laws; it necessitates ongoing commitment. It involves language, normalization, and actionable support. It is vital for my family of five—Alex and I as parents—to be recognized equally by our state and government. This is why Massachusetts’s recognition of LGBTQIA+ couples like Jamie and their partner as parents on its official government website is a significant step forward.

This achievement deserves celebration, yet Massachusetts should not stand alone; other states must follow suit. Our families exist everywhere, every day of the year.

Before Alex and I met in person in 2008, I had already expressed my desire for children. Our relationship began with a child I was in the process of adopting, and by our third email exchange, Alex knew I was committed to having more kids. In 2011, we tied the knot, and by 2014, we embarked on our journey to expand our family through in-vitro fertilization (IVF). To our surprise and joy, our first ultrasound revealed we were expecting twins!

As we approached the birth of our children, we were faced with logistical challenges: birthing plans, childcare for our son while we were in the hospital, and selecting the right baby gear. However, as a same-sex couple, we also confronted concerns that heterosexual couples might take for granted—like whose name would appear on the birth certificate or who could avail of family leave.

The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), enacted in 1993, ensures job security for all families, regardless of sexual orientation or familial structure. Massachusetts allows eligible workers to take up to 26 weeks of paid leave, a remarkable benefit for new parents. However, states have discretion over how much leave is offered, which leads to ongoing debates. What should be non-negotiable is the inclusion of same-sex parents in these policies.

The journey for same-sex couples to achieve equal rights has been arduous and necessary. San Francisco began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples in 2004, despite state laws opposing it. Over the years, various states have wavered on recognizing same-sex marriages. It wasn’t until 2013 that the language in FMLA laws became inclusive, and full recognition of same-sex marriage came in 2015.

Paid family leave is essential for families to bond with their new children, whether through birth or adoption. Many same-sex couples fear being excluded from critical moments, such as the birthing process. As I prepared for my c-section, anxiety loomed. Would hospital staff recognize Alex as a parent? In contrast, heterosexual couples don’t typically face such concerns.

When an LGBTQIA+ couple is featured positively on a government website, like Jamie and their spouse, it represents progress for all of us. By using inclusive language, we inch closer to acceptance in all areas of life. Let’s continue to champion equality, equity, and inclusivity in both policy and practice. Thank you, Massachusetts, and to the rest of the states—let’s move forward together. Our families matter, and so do we.

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Summary:

This article emphasizes the importance of inclusivity for LGBTQIA+ families, particularly referencing Massachusetts’s recognition of same-sex couples. It highlights the challenges same-sex parents face, especially around family leave and hospital policies during childbirth. The narrative encourages other states to adopt similar inclusive measures and celebrates the progress made in LGBTQIA+ rights.

Keyphrase: Inclusion for LGBTQIA+ families

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