From the Confessional: Clutter is Taking Over and Affecting Our Mental Health

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I can vividly recall the day I moved into my first “adult apartment.” It was a cozy little space with a compact bedroom, living area, and a dining nook. My furniture consisted of a futon, a tiny kitchen table, a bed, and a dresser, along with just a few plates and towels. It felt so wonderfully mine, and I cleaned it diligently every day. After all, it was only about 600 square feet, and there were no little ones around with their Shopkins and Legos. No older kids cluttering up the space with school papers, iPads, and an endless array of shoes.

There was absolutely no mess in that charming little apartment. Back then, I naively thought, “I’ll always live like this! I’ll keep my space neat and tidy.” Fast forward two decades. Though my living space has expanded significantly, it has filled up with an overwhelming amount of stuff. Now, there are five of us contributing our shoes, papers, and various random bags that seem to multiply overnight. I’m the only one who seems to remember where dirty cups belong, or where shoes should be stored, or how to neatly stack folded towels.

So, that dream of a clutter-free home slipped away long ago. Maybe I’ll get another chance at that tidy little 600-square-foot space when I’m 100 years old.

I wouldn’t mind cleaning if it weren’t for the incessant clutter. How do professional organizers manage it? I’d really love to know.

Confessions of Clutter

Confessional #25841167: Living with others’ mess is driving me to my breaking point.
Confessional #25773269: I need to stop whining about every little annoyance, but the clutter is maddening. I just can’t seem to get organized. Having two young kids doesn’t make it any easier. I’m so over living in this cramped space.
Confessional #25778471: Dealing with clutter is incredibly frustrating. Sometimes I think, “If I have to pick up one more random toy from the counter, I might just lose it.”
Confessional #25792404: I’m tired of my home looking old and messy. I want nice furniture and to ditch all this junk!
Confessional #25804678: I dream of tossing everything out and embracing minimalism. I’m over the dust and mess. My partner thinks I should just move it all around weekly to dust, but that’s just absurd.

We all fantasize about living in a clean, clutter-free house—even if it means excluding certain family members from those dreams. (Sorry, family!) I’m particularly frustrated with my teenage daughter, who seems to expend more energy hiding her mess than it would take to simply pick it up.

Confessional #25820265: Sometimes I imagine a clean, clutter-free home near shopping, but instead, I’m living in a hoard created by my partner.
Confessional #25840607: My partner drives me crazy—constantly complaining about the clutter, yet 90% of it is his!
Confessional #25835462: As I declutter, I’m increasingly irritated by the items my partner bought ages ago and never even opened.

It’s incredibly annoying when I try my best to minimize clutter, but the rest of the family just adds to it. Then they wonder why I’m in a bad mood. Seriously, pick up your stuff!

I have a video appointment with my doctor today, and I’m more anxious than usual. I’m worried the kids will scream, the dog will bark, and my doctor will see how messy my house really is. Plus, I won’t even get my lunch or quiet time.

My motivation for finally tackling my clutter issue after all these years is that I have two kids in college, and if they get engaged like I did, I don’t want to be embarrassed when their fiancés’ parents come over.
Confessional #25836968: At 41 weeks pregnant, the floor feels a mile away. I want a tidy home, but picking up seems so daunting that I feel defeated and ashamed.
Confessional #25835226: My mother was a hoarder without realizing it, leaving me with a lot of decorations and clutter. Growing up, I was embarrassed to have visitors unexpectedly. Now I find myself holding onto things just in case, feeling anxious about letting go. I’ve inherited this, and I refuse to pass it down!

Living in a messy house can lead to feelings of shame and embarrassment, which is unhealthy for everyone. Successfully cleaning my daughter’s playroom without simply tossing everything out was my greatest achievement in a year. I truly mean it! It’s so clean that I think Marie Kondo would be impressed!

Confessional #25828060: That awkward moment when you declutter your home and try donating your unwanted items, only to find that even the thrift stores don’t want your stuff.
Confessional #25825782: I’ve been so frustrated with my family’s lack of tidiness that I’ve resorted to throwing their things away without telling them. Clutter be gone! The sad part is, they didn’t even notice what’s missing.
Confessional #25784972: My partner clutters every available surface, especially in the kitchen. Half of the kitchen items seem to have a permanent residence on the counters, which drives me up the wall. After 15 years of this, I don’t even feel guilty about throwing away my partner’s things anymore.

If you ever manage to purge some items, it feels incredibly liberating. Of course, there are pros and cons to a massive “clutter clean-out.” (We’ll leave it up to you to decide if tossing items your family deems “special” is a pro or a con.)

Raising a family means navigating a lot of junk—that’s just the way it is. But sometimes that junk gets left everywhere, and no one else seems to notice. That’s when Mom gets frustrated, and the trash bag comes out. Take note, family—pick up your things or prepare for Mom’s decluttering mission. And if it reaches that point, better get out of her way, or you might find yourself in the trash bag too.

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Summary

Clutter can significantly impact our mental health, especially in family households. As we navigate the chaos of raising children, the dream of a tidy home often feels unattainable. Many find themselves fantasizing about a clutter-free space while dealing with the reality of accumulating mess. Through shared confessions, it’s evident that tackling clutter is a common struggle among parents. Finding ways to manage and minimize clutter not only helps create a more peaceful home but also alleviates feelings of embarrassment and stress.

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