As the new school year approaches, parents everywhere are gearing up for the inevitable chaos that comes with it. Think oversized shoes, endless supply lists, and kids cramming for tests they might not have studied for during the summer break. But don’t fret! It’s not too late to get your household ready for school. Here are ten tongue-in-cheek tips to help you (sort of) prepare for that first day of class.
1. Shop Early
Many parents wait until after the first day to tackle the dreaded supply list, only to find it lodged at the bottom of a backpack that looks like it’s been through a tornado. Avoid the last-minute panic at the store by shopping now. Sure, you might mistakenly grab the wrong notebook paper or miss out on the elusive 72 three-ring binders required for science class, but that’s why sites like Amazon Prime exist, right?
2. Start a Strength Training Regimen
Not for yourself, but for your child! Those hefty science binders can be a workout all on their own.
3. Conduct a “Bus Stop Drill”
To prepare for those mornings when you’re running late, practice waking your child up in the middle of the night. Sneak into their room around 3 a.m., whisper loudly about missing socks and homework, and then rush them to the bus stop. Do this until you can get the whole drill done in under five minutes—if they don’t file a restraining order first!
4. Sort Through Crayons
If your household is like most, you have a box overflowing with broken crayons. Instead of buying new ones, take a moment to set aside those tiny pieces. Consider melting them into new shapes! Just kidding—head straight to the trash with those.
5. Create a Homework Station
What is a homework station, you ask? Honestly, I’m not sure. Pinterest told me to mention it, so here we are.
6. Establish an Accountability Folder
Keep your kids in line with chore charts and morning checklists. Because what’s more fun than nagging your kids about their responsibilities?
7. Prep Lunches in Bulk
To save time during the school year, why not make 180 sandwiches today? Put them in Ziploc® bags and toss them in the freezer for the entire year. Sure, your kid might not eat them, but at least you’ll have them ready!
8. Choose the Perfect First Day Outfit
Your child will want to wear something they love, but let’s be honest—it’s all about the Instagram-worthy photo for mom. So, make them wear that adorable apple dress, even if they’d prefer something more comfortable.
9. Don’t Forget the “First Day of School” Chalkboard
If you haven’t started hand-lettering those cute back-to-school chalkboards with your kid’s age and fun facts, panic! You may need to consider holding your child back a year just to get that picture right.
10. Sharpen Those Pencils
No, I’m not being metaphorical here. Go ahead and sharpen the dozens of pencils you’ve accumulated over the years instead of buying another 18 boxes. Surely there are enough pencils in your home to build an entire replica of the Eiffel Tower.
And there you have it! Follow these tips, and you might feel slightly more prepared for the school year ahead. Or, you know, just head back to the pool and embrace the chaos like the rest of us.
For more humorous advice and some helpful resources, check out this post on home insemination kits and this excellent article on IUI.
Summary
Preparing for back-to-school doesn’t have to be a daunting task. By following these ten humorous and somewhat ridiculous tips, you can navigate the chaos with a smile—whether it’s shopping early, practicing morning routines, or creating Instagram-worthy moments.
Keyphrase: back-to-school organization tips
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