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Content Warning: Discussion of Rape and Sexual Assault
Imagine you’re strolling down the street and someone snatches your wallet. You immediately call the police. No one questions your decision.
You return home to find that someone has broken into your house. You contact law enforcement. Again, no one doubts your actions.
You’re out walking when someone exposes themselves to you. You call the cops. Your judgment is not questioned.
But when you’re walking home after a night out with friends and become a victim of rape, your experience is met with skepticism. Suddenly, you’re inundated with questions: Why were you out so late? Had you been drinking? What were you wearing? Did you think something like this wouldn’t happen? It feels as though you’re being blamed for what occurred.
When you’re on a date and find yourself in a situation where consent is disregarded, you might not even consider reporting it. Why? Because many survivors fear that the authorities won’t believe them, or they fear the repercussions of getting their assailant in trouble, or they worry about retaliation.
According to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), a staggering 80% of survivors know their attacker. This complicates the decision to come forward and can increase the danger they face. Nearly 15% of survivors feel that law enforcement either cannot or will not assist them. Additionally, 8% believe the incident isn’t serious enough to warrant reporting, and 7% fear the consequences for their attacker.
The statistics are alarming: For every 1,000 reported sexual assaults, only 25 result in incarceration—a mere 2.5%. With fewer than 30% of assaults even reported, many perpetrators remain free, facing no repercussions for their actions.
Even when survivors do report the crime and undergo the invasive process of a rape kit examination, the backlog of untested kits means that many cases go unresolved. This situation is a significant reason many survivors choose to remain silent.
Your attacker might believe they are entitled to violate you because of a dinner or a dress you wore. Whether it’s a casual encounter or a long-term relationship, the outcome is the same: you are left to grapple with the trauma of an assault, often without justice.
What does “justice” even mean? It’s defined as fairness and impartiality, but can anything truly balance the scales after such a violation? When you are assaulted, you are the one who has to navigate the aftermath—living in a body that feels foreign, haunted by memories, and plagued by fear.
You wake up from nightmares that feel all too real. You find yourself sleeping fully clothed, with multiple locks on your door, and a baseball bat tucked under your bed. You might struggle with eating or focusing on everyday tasks, and the pain doesn’t seem to fade, no matter how much you try to numb it.
And what about the assailant? They seem to own a part of your life forever. The idea of justice feels elusive. Even if your attacker is jailed, is that closure? Unfortunately, many rapists remain free, either because survivors choose not to press charges or the legal system fails them.
If you decide to pursue charges, the risk of further betrayal looms large. If your assailant walks free or receives a minimal sentence, it reinforces the belief that justice is unattainable and that survivors will never be safe.
What can you do if you feel shocked by this reality? Speak out. When you hear someone defend a rapist or joke about sexual violence, raise your voice. Support survivors in your community—your belief and action can make a difference.
If you have experienced sexual violence, I believe you. Connect with resources like therapists, RAINN’s confidential hotline, or local crisis centers. Remember: none of this is your fault, and healing is possible.
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Summary
Survivors of sexual assault face numerous challenges, particularly when it comes to seeking justice. The stigma, fear of not being believed, and the often harsh realities of the legal system contribute to a culture where many choose to remain silent. Speaking out, believing survivors, and advocating for change can help create a safer environment where accountability is prioritized.
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