“Are you excited?”
This has been a recurring question posed by friends, family, and colleagues over the past several months as I prepare to step into fatherhood for the first time. The anticipation of joining forces with my partner to raise our little girl fills me with a mix of excitement and an unusual sense of calm that I find hard to put into words.
Absolutely, I’m excited. However, I’m also 43 years old. To be candid, shortly after discovering I would soon be a dad, I found myself searching “Famous Dads Over 40,” imagining a roster of seasoned musicians and actors gracefully juggling parenthood with their careers. Instead, my computer crashed. Just my luck!
I understand that among the myriad concerns tackled by parenting experts, first-time fathers in their forties probably rank somewhere between screen time limits and the choice of entertainment for birthday parties (and, spoiler alert: always choose the bouncy house). Yet, I would be misleading myself if I ignored the reality that keeping pace with my daughter as she grows is a genuine concern. I want to be present and engaged for every milestone—from her first words to her graduation speech in 2060. The thought of missing out on those moments is unsettling.
On the bright side, my age comes with a wealth of life experience. I’ve gathered knowledge over the years that will serve me well in fatherhood, including the understanding that becoming proficient at anything takes time and patience—qualities that I’ve gradually cultivated. I may not excel as a dad right from the start, but I’m learning to embrace that uncertainty. In time, I will find my footing and become the father my daughter deserves.
While the age factor is a concern, it’s manageable and probably not as significant as it seems now. Once the baby arrives, I’ll likely be too immersed in diaper changes and sleepless nights to worry about whether I’ll relate to a teenager who enthusiastically declares, “I love oldies!” after jamming to a new hit.
However, there’s a more pressing issue that weighs on my mind—one that feels even more daunting than my age. If you’ve read the title of this post, you might have guessed that my biggest fear centers around bringing a child into a world where a brash, often controversial figure occupies the highest office in the land, wielding a power that many find disconcerting. This concern looms large, particularly during my daughter’s formative years, but it extends beyond just my worries.
To me, individuals like Donald Trump symbolize a broader societal mindset—a manifestation of values that many Americans seem to hold dear while neglecting others. We prioritize strength, even when it comes at the expense of the vulnerable. We chase material wealth, often disregarding the human cost associated with it. We accumulate possessions, even if it leads to environmental degradation. We cling to self-interest, ignoring facts that might challenge our beliefs. We seek out quick fixes to complex problems, applauding those who promise easy answers.
In this landscape, critical thinking often gets misconstrued as the ability to dismantle opposing viewpoints rather than interrogating all perspectives, including our own. What have we sacrificed in the name of these so-called values? Community, charity, education, empathy, and equity—all the virtues I hope to instill in my daughter.
The journey ahead will be challenging. Even with the tools to foster critical thinking, my daughter will face powerful media messages promoting toxic ideas, distorting truths, and vilifying viewpoints that don’t align with corporate interests. With ongoing conflicts, healthcare being a luxury, and climate change spiraling out of control, she’ll navigate a world shaped by humanity’s reckless tendencies.
Then there’s me. I’ve used “we” intentionally because I’m not just an observer in this critique. Throughout my life, I’ve embraced many of the values I now question. Being progressive doesn’t shield me from moments of blindness or self-interest; I’m aware of my flaws.
What I do possess is the realization that my occasional missteps can undermine the values I cherish. I acknowledge my imperfections and strive to improve each day. Perhaps that’s where we all stand—flawed yet capable of making the right choices if we recognize our weaknesses and seek the support of others. If we can do that, we might just save ourselves and, by extension, our world. It’s an ambitious goal, but not entirely out of reach.
One day, years from now, when I ask my daughter how she plans to save the world, I hope her answer begins with, “Dad, it’s complicated,” as she outlines her intricate solution. In that moment, I’ll realize she’s exactly the kind of thoughtful individual this chaotic world requires, and that I’ve done a decent job as her father.
For more insights on navigating parenthood, check out this excellent resource on understanding pregnancy week by week, and if you’re considering fertility options, our guide on fertility boosters might be a good read.
Summary
As a first-time father at 43, I find myself excited yet concerned about the implications of raising a daughter in a world shaped by controversial leadership and societal values. While my age brings wisdom, the challenges of instilling critical thinking and empathy in her amidst a chaotic environment weigh heavily on my mind. Ultimately, I aim to support her in navigating these complexities as she grows.