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Recently, while scrolling through social media, I stumbled upon a post featuring a parent sharing a “humorous” note their child had written. Normally, I enjoy these kinds of posts, but this one struck me as decidedly unfunny.
The note was a heartfelt expression of frustration from a tween girl directed at her mother. The young girl felt dismissed and upset after her mom had raised her voice. In the accompanying post, the mother rolled her eyes and labeled her daughter’s feelings as ridiculous. Clearly, she didn’t validate her child’s emotions at all.
In another instance a while back, a different parent publicly shamed her teenage son for poor report card grades, posting a picture of him with a caption expressing her hatred. While it was evident that the mother was overwhelmed with disappointment—having believed her son when he said he had his grades under control—her outburst was misplaced.
I’m sure both moms love their children deeply and likely had private conversations to navigate their frustrations. However, sharing private letters, videos, or difficult moments online is never appropriate. Parents need to pause and reflect before hitting that “post” button, especially considering how embarrassing it can be for kids at that age. They likely wouldn’t appreciate their personal matters being aired publicly.
This behavior can be seen as a betrayal. It trivializes a child’s feelings and undermines their trust. Remember when you were younger and felt misunderstood by your parents? Those feelings were real and significant. You probably wished for someone to listen and acknowledge your emotions rather than mock them.
Think back to a time when someone broke your trust by sharing something you confided in them. It stings, doesn’t it? Children should know they can trust their parents, above all, not to expose their vulnerabilities in such a public manner.
As parents, we have countless responsibilities, and we will inevitably make mistakes. However, this is an area where we can easily exercise mindfulness. Before posting, consider the implications of sharing your child’s private information and how that could affect their sense of privacy and trust.
Shaming children publicly is not a suitable disciplinary method nor a way to seek sympathy on social media. In observing the post I mentioned earlier, it was evident that the mother was embodying the very behavior her daughter accused her of: failing to listen and belittling her feelings.
Parents who frequently share their children’s private matters often complain about their kids being “difficult” or lacking respect. But why would children act respectfully when their parents don’t model that behavior? Trust is a two-way street, and respect must be earned, not demanded.
Do you feel inclined to show respect to someone you don’t trust? I certainly don’t, and I wouldn’t expect my kids to either. If I want them to treat me with respect, I need to demonstrate respect towards them as well. This doesn’t negate setting boundaries; it simply means I won’t belittle or mock them, especially not on a public platform.
It’s acceptable to vent to friends privately about parenting challenges, but posting on social media crosses the line of respect for a child’s privacy. If you want your children to trust and respect you, it’s crucial to refrain from this kind of behavior.
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Summary
Publicly shaming children on social media is a growing concern among parents. Sharing private moments or feelings can damage the trust and respect children have for their parents. It’s essential for parents to model mature behavior and protect their children’s privacy to foster a more respectful relationship.
Keyphrase
Publicly shaming children
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