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Have you ever reached a point in parenting where you feel utterly exhausted? I’m not talking about needing a break to run errands alone; I mean the kind of overwhelmed where you contemplate escaping for a while—perhaps to your parents’ house or even a hotel? I’m on the brink of breaking down, and I can almost taste it.
My son faces significant behavioral challenges. He’s on medication for ADHD and mood stabilization due to oppositional defiant disorder. Despite trying behavioral therapy and individual counseling, nothing seems to be working. I feel less like his mother and more like a punching bag. While he doesn’t lash out physically, emotionally, he tears me apart. With his condition, I’ve become the target. He can twist almost any situation into a negative encounter, and I’m completely fed up!
Last weekend, we took a short trip to a waterpark—a getaway planned entirely for him. He isn’t fond of roller coasters or big rides, and he wanted some independence, so I reluctantly agreed to let him explore on his own. As a teenager, he’s social and fairly self-sufficient, so I trusted him to be safe. He was having a fantastic time, and I was thrilled to see him happy. However, after a few hours, I began to feel uneasy when he didn’t return.
He finally came back, grinning from ear to ear after riding a water coaster. I should have felt relieved, but I realized I should’ve insisted he check in. We decided to grab a pretzel, and everything seemed fine until I handed him the food. That’s when the day took a nosedive.
“You ate without me, didn’t you?” he scowled.
“I can’t believe you would do that!” he continued.
“Do you have any idea how hungry I am? This whole family hates me!”
I tried to reason with him. “You chose to wander off; I called you over while we were in line, but you kept going. I wanted to get you something to eat, but you didn’t want to stop.”
His response was irrational, filled with anger and defiance. I had reached my limit. Instead of engaging, I walked away and sought refuge with my husband, who sensed the tension and offered to talk to him.
Sitting down, I felt the tears well up. How could this be happening? This was meant to be his perfect day, and yet he found a way to lash out at me. I gathered my belongings, preparing to leave. He continued to scowl, but I maintained my composure. I wanted to yell at him, to shake him awake, but the advice from all the experts echoed in my mind: don’t engage. So, I didn’t. That felt like a small victory.
On the ride home, he was silent, perhaps reflecting on his behavior. Honestly, I didn’t care; I was just grateful for the quiet. Once we got home, he came up to me and apologized. “I’m sorry, Mom. I love you.”
You might think that was a sweet gesture and that I’m overreacting. But here’s the thing: I’ve had enough of the daily disrespect. It seems like he reserves all his anger for me. He’s a good kid—smart, funny, and even quite handsome—but our relationship is strained, and I fear it may worsen as he navigates his teenage years.
I’ve discussed his behavior with his doctor to rule out conditions like bipolar disorder, and I trust her judgment. She reassured me that we’re just in a tough phase that he needs to work through. We’ve attended counseling together, yet he dismisses everything as nonsense.
I can’t shake the feeling that I’m failing him. I want him to feel loved and supported, not resentful towards his family. I tell him every day that I love him, and he reciprocates, yet when he’s in a mood, that love feels absent.
At this point, I think a brief getaway might be what I need. I don’t feel the need to announce my departure is due to him, but perhaps my absence will help him realize how much I do for him and inspire more respect.
I refuse to give up; I owe it to him. I’ve been there through every milestone, helping him grow and learn. I want to see that bright spark in him return. A few days away might provide me the clarity I need. If you’re reading this, please send some positive vibes my way—I need all the strength I can get right now.
For more insights on parenting and related topics, check out our other blog posts at Home Insemination Kit and for authoritative advice on fertility, visit Make a Mom. If you’re considering fertility treatments, March of Dimes is a fantastic resource.
Summary:
This piece reflects the struggles of a mother overwhelmed by her son’s behavioral issues, particularly during a family outing to a waterpark. Despite efforts to provide a joyful experience, the son’s irrational outburst leads the mother to question her parenting and contemplate a temporary escape for her own well-being. The article emphasizes the emotional toll of parenting a child with significant challenges while highlighting the mother’s love and commitment.
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