Pregnancy Insights
It was Mother’s Day, outside a quaint church, when it happened. My partner was unwell at home, leaving me to wrangle our three impeccably dressed little ones. After an hour of distractions involving stickers, bribes, and the classic “You’d better behave or we’ll talk about this later,” we finally spilled outside into the beautiful morning. I adjusted their socks and jackets, fussing over my eldest’s outfit when a woman approached. She appeared to be in her sixties, rather nosy, and utterly unaware of personal boundaries.
“They look adorable in those suits! And I see you’re expecting another!” she exclaimed.
“Excuse me?” I replied, shocked. Suddenly, it hit me—she thought I was pregnant. “No!” I said, perhaps too loudly. “I’ve actually lost a lot of weight recently. I’m not expecting.”
She raised her hands defensively. “Oh! I was just surprised. It’s the way the dress hangs,” she stammered before hastily retreating.
Now I felt compelled to toss the dress in question. Thanks for that, lady.
Like that overzealous churchgoer, you might be curious about when it’s acceptable to inquire about a woman’s pregnancy status. You may suspect that her not-so-flat stomach is a sign of a growing baby, especially if she has that rosy glow and a rounded belly. However, here’s the crucial point: Your assumptions remain just that—assumptions.
The only time it’s acceptable to mention a woman’s pregnancy without her prior acknowledgment is when a baby is literally making its entrance into the world. Picture it: a dramatic delivery scene with all the accompanying chaos. That’s the only scenario where it’s even remotely appropriate to comment on her condition. Until then, a potential pregnancy is none of your business.
She might just be dealing with a food baby, and no one enjoys having that mistaken for a real pregnancy. It can be quite uncomfortable explaining that what you see isn’t a baby but rather a consequence of dinner. She could also be a woman who previously carried a child, leaving behind physical reminders like stretch marks or a belly that hasn’t quite returned to its pre-pregnancy form. A casual comment about her expecting could lead to tears, reminding her of the changes her body has undergone.
If you are a family member, friend, or well-meaning acquaintance, resist the urge to ask about potential pregnancies. Questions like “Are you pregnant yet?” can be incredibly frustrating, especially with the added pressure of wanting to please family.
In fact, only three people can ask if a woman is pregnant without repercussions: her partner, who shares a vested interest in the matter; a medical professional like an X-ray tech, who needs to consider fetal safety; and a pharmacist, who wouldn’t want to dispense harmful medications. Ideally, a doctor should already have the necessary information on hand, making unnecessary inquiries redundant.
Overall, unless a woman is in labor, her body shape is off-limits for discussion. It doesn’t matter how her stomach looks or if she’s wearing a bikini. Unless she explicitly shares her news—be it a complaint about back pain or an excited shout of “I’m pregnant!”—it’s best to keep quiet.
The best response to unsolicited comments about your body is simply, “You have no right to comment on my body.” And if you’re feeling particularly bold, you can always follow that up with a playful punch to the arm.
This article originally appeared on May 28, 2017.
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Summary
When it comes to asking a woman if she’s pregnant, it’s best to tread carefully. Unless she openly shares the news or is in active labor, it’s not your place to comment on her body. This article emphasizes that assumptions about pregnancy can lead to awkward situations and hurt feelings. Always prioritize sensitivity and respect when discussing such personal matters.
Keyphrase: When to ask a woman if she’s pregnant
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