My Baby Cried Nonstop for Seven Months, and It Was Excruciating

I didn’t find joy in the newborn stage with my first child. It’s a tough truth to admit, but the reality is that I struggled immensely due to my daughter’s colic—a term that describes uncontrollable and prolonged crying. This experience is rarely discussed, and it was traumatic, shaping my perception of what parenthood was like until my second child arrived.

From the very first day my oldest daughter was born, she cried. It wasn’t just a typical whimper; it was an intense wail that could persist for hours on end. This episode lasted for nearly seven months, with no clear explanation for it, which was incredibly unsettling. After exhausting days, I often found myself driving to the store (my husband and daughter tagging along) just to sob in the parking lot, seeking a brief escape from the relentless noise.

I internalized a sense of failure. “I must be doing something wrong,” I thought. “This can’t be normal.” I tried everything—absorbing advice from others, reading all the parenting books, and experimenting with various methods. However, when the strategies that worked for others failed for us, my feelings of inadequacy only deepened. Well-meaning friends and family offered suggestions, but these often fueled my self-doubt, as colic has no predictable pattern. “Your milk isn’t enough; try formula” (despite her healthy weight gain). “You need to stick to a stricter routine” (after trying every schedule available, her unpredictable crying rendered routine meaningless). “Put her to bed earlier” (we attempted bedtime as early as 5 PM, but she wouldn’t settle until midnight). “Babies only cry when they need something; is nothing wrong?” (I visited the doctor multiple times, hoping for answers, but everything checked out fine).

I eventually stopped discussing the situation, as it became increasingly difficult to articulate my feelings. This silence only deepened my loneliness. It felt maddening when she was calm around others, making me question my reality. I hesitated to invite people over, fearing they would only witness my daughter’s rare “good” moments while I was left with the chaos of her crying. It was a psychological battle.

Despite knowing logically that the crying was random and unexplained, my self-doubt took root. When my daughter finally began sleeping through the night, it felt transformative, yet the experience lingered. Even with her normal, expected rough nights, I would panic, fearing a return to those colicky days. It was akin to PTSD. Only now, three months into my second baby’s life, has that fear begun to dissipate. I hadn’t realized how deeply I had carried it. As I navigated my younger daughter’s early days, I found myself anxious every time she cried, terrified it would mirror my first experience, even though she was simply being a “normal” baby. I struggled to distinguish between typical behavior and the extreme, which made it hard to relish her babyhood.

However, by month three, I began to recognize that my second daughter didn’t have colic; it was merely luck of the draw. I maintained the same feeding and sleeping routines, yet I was blessed with a completely different baby. I had always preached that “every baby is different” after becoming a mom, but now I understood that truth on a deeper level.

I didn’t fail my oldest daughter; I survived. Reflecting on this journey, it may seem dramatic, but it was my reality, and I managed it as best as I could.

Like many intense experiences in life, it’s challenging to convey what it’s like to have a “difficult” (read: colicky) baby unless you’ve been there yourself. People often say to savor every moment of parenthood, and I felt guilty for not enjoying it. I longed for someone who had faced similar struggles to guide me through. So, I’m sharing my story for anyone going through this: You did nothing wrong. You can’t “fix” it. You’re not required to enjoy every moment. It won’t last forever, even though it may feel eternal. You will get through this, and it’s okay to cry. What helped me most were the words of friends, family, and my pediatrician simply saying, “I’m sorry. You’re doing an amazing job.” So, in case you need to hear this today: I’m sorry. You’re doing great.

While she still presents challenges, my colicky baby has blossomed into an extraordinary toddler.

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Summary:

Navigating the challenges of a colicky baby can be overwhelming and isolating. Jessica Harper shares her personal experience of enduring seven months of non-stop crying with her first daughter, grappling with feelings of failure and inadequacy. Despite trying countless advice and routines, nothing seemed to work until she realized that her second baby was completely different. Through her journey, she emphasizes the importance of acknowledging one’s struggles, seeking support, and understanding that it’s okay not to enjoy every moment of parenthood. Ultimately, she encourages those in similar situations to recognize their resilience and the temporary nature of their challenges.

Keyphrase: colicky baby experience

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