Updated: April 28, 2016
Originally Published: October 3, 2014
Last evening, my partner and I made the error of going out after dinner. For anyone with young children, particularly those (like ours) who thrive on a routine, you’ll understand that venturing out post-dinner is nearly always a regrettable choice—I’d estimate it to be around 99.9% of the time.
Predictably, our plans went awry, and we ended up returning home after their bedtime. This resulted in an unintentional journey into our own version of chaos. Here are the stages we endured:
Stage 1: Hysterical Antics
This phase typically kicks off in the car on our way back. The children are overflowing with energy—singing, shouting, and laughing. Last night, they decided to play a game of fake crying. They would sob dramatically until we frantically asked, “What’s wrong!?” only to burst into laughter. It all seems delightful while we’re still out, as I sit in the front seat trying to muffle their joyous shrieks with deep breaths. However, once we cross the threshold of our home, we are abruptly confronted with…
Stage 2: Rejection
The kids are fully aware that they’ll soon be subjected to bathing, putting on pajamas, or brushing their teeth, and so they opt to ignore our requests, pretending as if these tasks don’t exist. The repeated prompts to undress, use the bathroom, or remove their shoes fall on deaf ears. Although I feel a surge of frustration, I strive to stay composed. My attempts at physical guidance are met with them going limp, making it challenging to undress their squirming little bodies. Once they’re completely naked, they realize they’ve surrendered, leading us to…
Stage 3: Emotional Outburst
In this state, any minor inconvenience can trigger tears. If I innocently ask, “Can you scoot over so I can wash your hair?” they might wail, “But I’m too itchy!!!” and proceed to sob through the bath, teeth brushing, or story time until we reach…
Stage 4: Complete Fatigue
At this point, both the kids and I are utterly drained. They express a desire to hurry things along, but they suddenly remember they need a snack, water, or they have forgotten something crucial like their homework from last weekend. Even a brief exit from the room can prompt requests for a tissue or a favorite blanket. I find myself scrambling to meet their every demand to stave off another episode of stage three until they eventually arrive at…
Stage 5: Slumber
Finally, they are tucked into bed, and while I want to celebrate and perhaps catch up on my favorite show, I find that every ounce of energy has been siphoned from me. All I crave is to close my eyes and drift off to sleep myself. I resolve that a social life can wait another decade and vow never to leave the house past 4 PM again. I turn to my partner and lament, “Why do we even try?” to which he responds, “I have no idea,” with a sense of shared exasperation.
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In summary, navigating the evening routine with young children can often feel like an uphill battle, transitioning through various stages of chaos before finally reaching the peace of bedtime. Each phase presents unique challenges, but understanding these stages can prepare parents for the inevitable nightly whirlwind.
Keyphrase: The 5 Stages of Chaos with Kids
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