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Do yourself a favor and avoid searching for “What age is considered middle-aged?” I did, and I instantly regretted it. I thought I had plenty of time before reaching that stage. But with the average life expectancy for women in the U.S. sitting at 80.5 years, it turns out I’m right in the thick of it at 42 years old. I’ve officially entered the second half of my life—the part where you feel like you’re fading away and being tossed aside like yesterday’s news. That’s a bit disheartening.
But honestly, why should being middle-aged be viewed negatively? What’s the issue with being in my 40s? Absolutely nothing! Sure, I find myself toting tweezers in my purse for those sudden chin hairs and I may have borrowed my mom’s reading glasses for the fine print. And yeah, I rocked those platform slides from Steve Madden, so I indulge in a little eye cream at night. So what? I’m aging, but I sincerely believe I’m getting better.
My kids might tell a different story. I’m not always in touch with current slang. Yes, I may be labeled “cheugy,” but isn’t that part of the parent experience? I recently discovered that using the word cringe is now too “cringey” for my 13-year-old son—he doesn’t want to hear it from me again. Thankfully, my five-year-old daughter is blissfully unaware of trends like side parts or tummy-control yoga pants, so I haven’t lost her yet.
Speaking of that little one, I can’t afford to be a middle-aged quitter with a young child. I need to be there for her for a long time. After all, there are countless women who start families after 40! Are we really expected to discard them for a younger generation, as if they’re past their prime? Absolutely not!
For many women, reaching your 40s is a significant achievement and a relief. By this age, you have a clearer sense of who you are. You’ve navigated wild party days, nightmarish relationships, and unsatisfying jobs. While some of those challenges may still linger, you’ve also gained valuable wisdom that helps you manage life better by the time you hit this midlife milestone. And that feels great!
Why does the term ‘middle-aged’ have to sound so dull? That’s part of the problem—it’s an unattractive label. Can’t we rephrase it to something more uplifting? How about “Hooray! I made it halfway!” or “Look at you! You’re in your 40s too!” I’d love to hear someone say, “Let’s celebrate you! Be proud to be 40!” (Okay, that last one doesn’t quite rhyme, but in the Midwest, we sometimes pronounce forty as farty, so I’m rolling with it). We should celebrate reaching the middle as a major milestone, not something to fear.
I truly enjoy being in my 40s. If I were to split my life in half today, making 20 my so-called middle age, I was not very wise back then. I didn’t advocate for myself, I didn’t speak up, and I didn’t consider the future; I just lived in the moment. There’s certainly something to be said for being young and carefree, but I feel so much stronger now that I have clarity. I have a plan. I want to be there for my children, both physically and emotionally. I want to partner with my husband as we wait for our first grandchild someday. I want to teach my kids to be self-sufficient and successful while also encouraging them to smile and laugh along the way. Twenty years ago, I wasn’t ready for any of that. Yet, life experience has granted me the wisdom to appreciate it all because time flies.
And let’s address this whole midlife crisis idea—it’s nonsense. Understanding who you are and wanting to live your best life every day should be your mantra throughout life, not just in your 40s. It just so happens that this is when that awareness often becomes apparent. That’s not a crisis—neither is chopping your hair into a trendy pixie cut, dyeing it pink, splurging on those heels you’ve been eyeing, or getting that tattoo you’ve wanted. Just go for it! The only true crisis is forgetting the lyrics to “Regulate” or “Step-By-Step.” That’s the real stuff! Not that you got your nose pierced—who cares?
In my 40s, I’ve got fine lines, stretch marks from carrying four big babies, and I drive a minivan that I openly adore. I wear what I like, when I like, topped off with a swipe of red lipstick just because I can. Friends, let’s embrace what’s often labeled “middle age.” To me, it’s the best age. Be authentic and ignore the nonsense; life’s too short for that. And while I’m thrilled to be in this middle phase, I do have one request: AARP, please stop sending me your materials. I’m not interested. I’ll pay full price for my hotel room, thank you very much.
For more insights on parenting and life, check out this blog post and dive deeper into topics that matter. If you’re considering family planning, Make a Mom offers great resources. Additionally, Healthline provides excellent guidance on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
Being middle-aged can be a time of empowerment rather than despair. At 42, I’ve embraced my 40s and the wisdom that comes with it. Rather than fearing the label of “middle age,” let’s celebrate this phase of life as an achievement. With clarity and purpose, I’m ready to be a strong presence for my family while enjoying the journey ahead.
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