The Flaws in the Argument: “If You Can’t Afford Children, Don’t Have Them”

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It’s surprising how often the phrase “if you can’t afford children, don’t have them” pops up in conversations about issues like universal childcare, extended maternity leave, or the rising costs of childbirth. Generally, those who make this statement adopt a mindset rooted in individualism and self-reliance, suggesting that everyone should solely fend for themselves. The notion of anyone seeking social assistance seems to trigger them.

However, this viewpoint overlooks numerous significant factors.

Financial Situations Are Fluid

It’s hard to believe we need to explain this, but here we are. Those who argue that people shouldn’t have kids if they can’t afford them fail to grasp that financial situations can change dramatically over time. Someone might start out in a difficult financial position but, through hard work and opportunity, could eventually provide comfortably for a family. Alternatively, individuals who begin with financial stability might face unexpected life challenges that deplete their savings. What do advocates of the “don’t have kids if you can’t afford them” philosophy expect from parents who run into financial difficulties after having children? Should they give their children away as if that’s a simple solution? Or do they assume that everyone can foresee the future?

Interestingly, many of these individuals who claim “if you can’t afford kids, don’t have them” often hold anti-choice views as well. They might advise against having children while simultaneously insisting that if an unplanned pregnancy occurs, one must proceed with having the child. The suggestion to simply “put it up for adoption” reveals a misguided understanding of the complexities involved in pregnancy and parenting.

The Rising Costs of Having Children

The costs associated with childbirth and raising children have skyrocketed. When I had my son 15 years ago, my out-of-pocket expense for his birth was around $75. Fast forward to my daughter’s birth four years later, and the cost soared to over $1,000 with a different insurance plan. That’s more than a 1,000% increase! This is not merely inflation; it’s a staggering rise in expenses. The U.S. now has some of the highest childbirth costs globally, and the out-of-pocket expenses remain far greater than in many other nations.

But the costs don’t stop at childbirth. The expense of raising a child has increased significantly, more so than just a generation ago. Between 2013 and 2019, childcare costs rose between 16% and 58%, while inflation rates remained stable at around 1.5% to 3% annually. Wages, on the other hand, have not kept pace with economic growth, meaning that while companies are thriving, employees are not seeing corresponding raises. This disparity raises the question: how are families supposed to afford childcare?

A Shift in Family Planning Due to Financial Concerns

Recent census data shows the most significant decline in population growth since 1930, with people increasingly choosing to delay parenthood or forgo it altogether. Young adults entering the workforce face astronomical housing costs, making them think carefully about adding a child to their financial responsibilities. Given the rising costs of living, it’s no wonder many under 30 might conclude that having kids is simply not feasible.

Even those who are established in their careers can struggle to manage the expenses associated with raising children. With stagnant wages and escalating costs across various sectors, from healthcare to education, it has become increasingly challenging to support a family.

Instead of admonishing individuals to refrain from having children if they can’t afford them, perhaps we should focus on a more critical question: Why is it so prohibitively expensive to raise a child in the U.S., and what can we do to change that?

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Summary

The argument that individuals should not have children if they can’t afford them is fundamentally flawed. Financial circumstances can change, and the costs associated with childbirth and raising children have risen dramatically. Many people are choosing to delay or opt out of parenthood altogether due to financial pressures. Instead of placing blame, we should focus on addressing the systemic issues that make parenting unaffordable in the U.S.

Keyphrase: “affording children”

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