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As the weeks pass, our household has become increasingly active. With this return to busyness, I’ve started to experience a sensation I haven’t felt in a while. Just last week, while preparing dinner, I felt a familiar tightness in my chest. My mind raced with a mental checklist of everything that still needed to be accomplished, all while I hurried to get dinner ready in time for my kids and partner to grab a quick bite before heading off to their softball game.
This feeling was both recognizable and somewhat distant. It’s been ages since I felt this way, and honestly, I didn’t miss it. I’ve tried to delay this return to hectic life for as long as possible. Can anyone else relate?
While some jumped back into a near-normal routine, my family has been more cautious. We opted for online learning for our kids this year, especially with family members at high risk for the virus. Our participation in activities over the past year has been limited.
However, recently, as my husband and I received our vaccinations and case numbers declined in our area, we began to step out more. We enrolled our daughters in softball and encouraged one to join a performance at the middle school. Even with the girls on the same team, it’s reminiscent of a time when we were constantly on the go—a time when I felt exhausted and desperately needed a break.
I know it’s positive for us to re-engage with the world, and it feels like the right moment for our family, but I can sense a growing reluctance within me. I want to advance, but not too quickly. I want to go out and do things, yet not to the point of overwhelming ourselves. I crave participation, but also the chance to rest.
I recognize this anxiety. It’s like an old friend reappearing after a long absence. It’s the pressure of needing to rush out the door, ensuring nothing is forgotten, and moving swiftly from one task to another. Many have been living in this space for a while now, but my family has not.
This message is for those who have cautiously emerged from their shells—those who have chosen to social distance more than others. If you’re beginning to engage with life again but prefer not to dive back into everything at once, you’re not alone.
I understand it will be beneficial for the kids to return to school in the fall, and I’m glad we’re starting to partake in some activities. However, I don’t want to commit to every invitation that comes our way. Just because an event is great doesn’t mean it’s right for us.
I don’t want our calendar to become so packed that we need to wait a month to find a date to meet up with friends. I’ve come to appreciate spontaneous moments and open schedules. I enjoy leisurely weekends, unhurried family dinners, and the ability to ask, “Who wants to go for a walk?” without feeling rushed.
Perhaps I’m asking for too much, wanting to engage while still having space to breathe, but I must believe it’s achievable. I know there will be nights filled with multiple games where we’ll need to divide and conquer to get the kids where they need to be. I just want to ensure we also have time to relax, rest, and be spontaneous.
The pendulum has swung from one extreme to another, and I hope it can settle closer to the middle. I want us to participate while still allowing for downtime, to be social yet still prioritize family time. I aim to be mindful of our commitments—choosing our yeses and noes wisely. The lessons learned over the past year should not be forgotten but integrated into our daily lives.
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