Exploring Platonic Marriages: A Timeless Concept

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“First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage.” We’ve all heard this familiar rhyme, often recited during childhood play. However, traditional romantic relationships are not the only path to matrimony. A relationship gaining attention in recent years is the platonic marriage, as many in the younger generation recognize the value of companionship and mutual support without romantic entanglements.

According to a recent article in the New York Times, “Today some people are taking their friendships a giant step further.” They are committing to platonic marriages, promising lifelong partnership without the romantic expectations. These couples often thrive on mutual understanding, agreeing to the terms of their union while sidestepping the complications of romantic feelings. Many embark on this journey when they seek to separate family life from romantic interests, especially if the latter feels unstable.

What is a Platonic Marriage?

A platonic marriage, much like platonic love, revolves around deep friendship. This type of marriage can exist between any combination of people—men and women, women and women, men and men, or any other pairing. The defining characteristic is that these unions are devoid of sexual intimacy, focusing instead on companionship, trust, and emotional support. “A platonic marriage is simply defined as a marriage that is non-sexual,” explains marriage counselor Linda Grant.

Can Any Marriage Become Platonic?

Yes, any marriage can evolve into a platonic one, provided both partners consent to this shift. As therapist Jamie Lynn notes, couples might choose to enter a platonic marriage from the beginning or transition to this arrangement over time. Various factors can prompt this change, such as a decrease in sexual intimacy or a partner’s realization of their sexual identity. Ultimately, what matters is the mutual agreement of both individuals involved.

Historical Background of Platonic Marriages

Though not extensively documented, the idea of platonic marriages has existed for centuries. In the 15th century, the scholar Marsilio Ficino introduced the concept of amor platonicus, or platonic love, which emphasized love’s spiritual dimensions over physical connections. The Catholic Church also recognized this notion through what is known as Josephite marriages, which are non-sexual unions.

The Prevalence of Platonic Marriages

While there are limited statistics on platonic marriages, a previous report from the National Health and Social Life Survey indicated that 2% of married respondents had not engaged in sexual intimacy for a year. This suggests that a small percentage of married couples may be in, or could transition to, a platonic arrangement.

Benefits of Platonic Marriage

The advantages of marriage—love, companionship, family support, financial stability—extend to platonic unions as well. “There are many benefits to a platonic marriage beyond the tax break,” notes therapist Jamie Lynn. These relationships often foster a sense of kinship and commitment, lacking the jealousy sometimes found in traditional marriages. For those who identify as asexual, aromantic, or polyamorous, platonic marriages may offer a fulfilling alternative. Additionally, couples wishing to maintain their bond without sexual intimacy may find that transitioning to a platonic marriage can enhance their emotional connection.

Do Platonic Marriages Work?

With clear communication and mutual understanding of the relationship’s dynamics, platonic marriages can thrive. As relationship expert Sarah Miller states, “If both partners know what to expect and can navigate conflicts together, who are we to say it won’t work?”

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Summary

Platonic marriages represent a growing trend where individuals choose companionship and commitment over romance. They can occur between any pairing and may develop from existing marriages or begin as platonic partnerships. With numerous benefits and a clear understanding between partners, these unions can offer a fulfilling alternative to traditional marriage.

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