I’m Teaching My Tweens That Their Body Hair Choices Are Up to Them

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My daughter recently decided she was ready to shave her legs. With many of her friends sporting shorts and smooth legs at school, she felt it was time. I assured her that I fully supported her choice and would help her through the process, but I also emphasized that her body hair is her decision. If she wanted to wait or even choose not to shave at all, that was completely okay.

So, she went ahead, and I helped her shave her legs while we sat on the edge of the bathtub. That was weeks ago, and she hasn’t brought it up again. Maybe it didn’t change her life as she expected, or perhaps she simply doesn’t care anymore. Either way, I’m perfectly fine with her choice.

Back when I was in middle school, shaving your legs felt like a rite of passage. It was essential to flaunt your smooth legs, even in chilly weather. Social pressure dictated that girls should start shaving between fifth and seventh grades; it was practically mandatory.

I didn’t have much hair to begin with, but the need to fit in overwhelmed me. If you didn’t own a stylish silk shirt or shave your legs, what were you even doing? I ended up with cuts and burns from hair removal products, only to realize that shaving wasn’t the transformative experience I had imagined. I thought it would somehow make me more popular and attractive, but that wasn’t the case at all.

In my youth, not shaving was something only the “free-spirited” types did. Today, many people choose to embrace their natural body hair, and it’s refreshing to have that choice. I remember my first experience with hair removal cream—what a disaster! After leaving it on too long, my legs felt like they were on fire, leaving me with red splotches instead of smooth skin.

Now, social media showcases women who proudly flaunt their body hair, questioning the double standard: if men don’t have to shave, why should women? When did it become a norm to inflict pain and discomfort for the sake of beauty?

I’m teaching my kids that if they feel ready to shave, I’ll guide them on how to do it safely. But if they don’t want to, there’s no pressure. They can always change their minds down the line—or decide to stick with their natural look.

This concept of body hair positivity extends beyond just shaving. It applies to how our kids dress, style their hair, and pursue their interests. As long as their choices are safe and suitable for the occasion (hello, school dress codes), what’s the harm? Childhood is all about exploration and self-expression.

I’ve seen my children thrive in activities where they were often the only ones of their gender. My daughter played roller hockey, and another child of mine plays the drums, standing out among a sea of boys. It’s inspiring to see them break stereotypes and find joy in pursuing their passions.

Like many parents, I grew up in a world where girls were supposed to play with dolls and, naturally, shave their legs, while boys played with trucks. Seeing the barriers between genders’ clothing dissolve has been a long-awaited change. Why did we ever adhere to such strict divisions?

I vividly recall the discomfort of wearing tights to church or special occasions. They were restrictive and uncomfortable, while boys wore khakis with pockets for their toys. I refuse to let my children endure that kind of discomfort.

Body hair can stay if that’s what makes them feel at ease, or it can go if they choose. Their reasons don’t need validation from anyone else. Adolescence is a time for fitting in and standing out, and it’s essential for them to discover what works best for themselves. This is the time for them to establish healthy boundaries and recognize that they don’t need to justify their body choices to anyone.

I hope more parents embrace body hair positivity and educate their kids about the importance of respecting personal choices. Whatever my children decide, I want them to understand the value of not critiquing others’ choices. We’d all be much happier if we focused on our own bodies instead of judging others.

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Summary

Teaching children about body hair and personal choice is crucial for their development. By supporting their decisions—whether to shave or not—parents can empower their kids to embrace their individuality and challenge societal norms. Encouraging self-expression and respect for others’ choices fosters a positive environment where children can explore their identities.

Keyphrase: body hair choices

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