I identify as pro-choice and am also the mother of a 12-year-old boy with Down syndrome. At first glance, these two aspects of my life may not seem to conflict. However, it’s important to note that approximately 67% of pregnancies diagnosed with Down syndrome end in abortion. This statistic highlights a troubling trend in how society often undervalues lives like my son’s, which complicates my pro-choice stance.
I firmly believe in the right to bodily autonomy. Women should not be compelled to carry a pregnancy to term, and individuals with intellectual disabilities, like my son, deserve the freedom to live their lives on their own terms, free from institutionalization or forced sterilization. At a fundamental level, the fight for disability rights aligns with the advocacy for abortion rights. However, the political pro-choice movement frequently overlooks bodily autonomy, often emphasizing specific circumstances—such as rape, maternal health, or fetal abnormalities—as justifications for abortion. This is where I find myself at odds.
When my partner and I were expecting our son, he was diagnosed at eight weeks with a heart condition that typically occurs in children with Down syndrome. This news was devastating for us, not just due to the heart issue but also because of the anticipated intellectual challenges. Nevertheless, we had previously agreed that we would not consider termination. Instead of respecting our decision, the medical professionals pressured us to undergo amniocentesis, insinuating that confirming the diagnosis would lead us to choose abortion. In fact, my psychiatrist suggested abortion or even institutionalization, believing the situation to be dire. Sadly, our experience is not unique among parents of children with Down syndrome.
So, why did we choose to continue the pregnancy? I believe in fate and that every child is meant to be with their family. We were fortunate to have good health insurance and the financial means to care for a child with special needs. While I support the option of abortion, I resent the narrative that it should be the default response to a Down syndrome diagnosis. This perspective often stems from a lack of understanding of what life is like with a child who has Down syndrome, fueled by fear and ignorance.
In reality, raising my son is filled with unique challenges but also immense joy. At twelve, he is mostly nonverbal yet communicates profoundly through his emotions. He has a fantastic sense of humor, and our home is often filled with laughter. Although academic achievement can be a struggle, I’ve shifted my focus from standardized testing to nurturing his growth as a compassionate individual. His ability to find joy in simple activities, like swinging or jumping on a trampoline, has taught me invaluable lessons during challenging times.
Unfortunately, the medical community often fails to present a balanced view of life with a child who has Down syndrome, instead perpetuating fear-based narratives that align with the pro-choice movement’s stance on abortion. This attitude is not only harmful but also contributes to societal biases against individuals with disabilities.
What do I hope for? Firstly, I wish for pro-choice advocates to refrain from using disability as a justification for abortion. Why is it deemed more acceptable to abort a fetus with a Down syndrome diagnosis rather than simply affirming a woman’s right to make choices about her body for any reason? Secondly, I urge the pro-choice movement to acknowledge that choice must include access to unbiased information about prenatal diagnoses. When the medical community propagates misleading narratives about the challenges of raising a child with Down syndrome, women are not empowered to make truly informed decisions about their pregnancies.
Women deserve access to impartial data and the freedom to make the best choices for themselves without judgment.
For more insights on related topics, you might find this article on home insemination engaging, as well as this comprehensive guide from Make a Mom about fertility. An excellent resource for understanding pregnancies and insemination techniques can be found at NHS’s guide on IUI.
Summary
This article explores the tension between being pro-choice and parenting a child with Down syndrome. The author shares personal experiences regarding societal views on disability and the medical community’s often fear-based narratives surrounding Down syndrome diagnoses. The article advocates for unbiased information in prenatal care and encourages pro-choice movements to focus on bodily autonomy rather than disability as a reason for abortion.
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