Updated: July 1, 2016
Originally Published: June 26, 2015
“Probably the happiest period in life most frequently is in middle age, when the eager passions of youth are cooled, and the infirmities of age not yet begun; as we see that the shadows, which are at morning and evening so large, almost entirely disappear at midday.” —Eleanor Roosevelt
I discovered my first gray hair at 22, so by the time I hit 40, I was already accustomed to feeling “old.” While many of my friends worried about crossing into their fourth decade, I scheduled my one-thousandth hair coloring appointment without a second thought. For me, turning 40 felt like just another birthday (albeit with a more extravagant cake). Ultimately, we can choose to embrace aging or resist it, but the latter seems futile.
That said, I won’t pretend nothing has changed. I’ve lived over half my life—if statistics and family histories hold true—my hormones are a bit rebellious, I don’t get catcalled anymore, and yes, I sometimes wear those comfortable granny panties (which are surprisingly trendy!). However, every wrinkle and sag represents a lesson learned—the ability to recognize my flaws, strengths, experiences, and desires. Middle age is a fascinating balancing act between youth and wisdom, and I cherish this time. Despite the occasional achy joints, I’m happier now than I ever was in my 20s. They still function, and that’s a blessing.
Along with night sweats and a stubborn belly that won’t budge, my 40s have bestowed upon me a newfound confidence that I previously lacked. I’ve stopped worrying about others’ opinions, and I have a clear understanding of who I am. I know what flatters my shape and what’s best left on the rack. Goodbye low-rise jeans, hello yoga pants. I don’t feel the need to wear makeup for quick errands. I enjoy my glass of wine, but I know when to stop before it turns into a hangover. I proudly embrace my obsessions with home renovation shows, glossy lip gloss, and fried delicacies. If you pay attention, four decades can teach you a lot about yourself.
I’ve moved beyond trends, and heartbreak from boys is no longer a concern. I no longer care who the “cool kids” are because I don’t even know anymore. My tears are reserved for what truly matters, not scraped knees or bad dates. I can be both comforting and firm when needed. I dance in my underwear and belt out tunes in the shower. I’ve learned to pause before reacting to slights, mostly because I’ve come to realize that most of them don’t carry much weight. My time is dedicated to passion projects and the people who bring joy into my life, not unnecessary drama. I exercise for enjoyment, not to prove anything. I indulge in chocolate, chicken fingers, and kale—just not all at once.
When insecurities rear their heads, I know how to silence them. They exist, but I choose how much influence they have over me. So when that voice tells me I’m not good enough or smart enough, I simply tune it out. That voice is a total jerk and likely didn’t get enough hugs as a child.
I understand what a healthy relationship looks like, and I’m thriving in one. I’ve learned not to judge those who are still searching. I bought a house and turned it into a home. I’m nurturing a child, a marriage, and a garden, and I genuinely believe I’m doing a good job—not because I’m extraordinary, but because I’m a grown-up who puts in the effort. I mess up quite often, but I strive to make amends rather than pretend nothing happened. I enjoy long articles online, real books, and even gossip pages because if nothing else, turning 40 gives you permission to be both serious and silly. I’m not on Snapchat because I just don’t care. I’m also undecided about pedicures.
I’ve seen loved ones get sick and pass away. Through these experiences, I’ve learned to practice gratitude and avoid whining. Age is just a number, and fearing it is truly pointless.
Forty isn’t about denying fear, insecurity, or failure; it’s about gaining perspective. It’s not about losing your youth; rather, it’s about settling into your own skin and appreciating the culmination of four decades of life experiences.
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In summary, turning 40 has been not just a milestone but a thrilling journey of self-discovery, confidence, and acceptance. I am embracing every moment, flaws and all.
Keyphrase: Embracing 40 and Happiness
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