A few years ago, during a Thanksgiving gathering before I came out as gay at the age of 39, I found myself on a relative’s patio with a couple of cousins, waiting for the turkey to finish cooking. While I mostly listened, one cousin mentioned another relative who had come out as gay years earlier. My gay cousin was present that day with his partner, who some family members insisted on referring to as his “friend.”
Then, one cousin asked if he would attend our gay cousin’s wedding, should it ever happen. The response was a disdainful “No,” punctuated by a scoff. When pressed for an explanation, he declared, “I believe that God created man and woman for one another, and homosexuality is a sin.”
As I listened, my face grew hot. Did he realize he was speaking about me too? Would it matter if I said something? I clenched my teeth and remained silent. Another cousin challenged him, questioning why he cared about how people express love. She argued that there’s nothing wrong with it and that his perspective was fundamentally flawed.
Looking back, I regret not speaking up. I wish I had stood up for my cousin, who shouldn’t have to attend a gathering where his relationship was dismissed. It’s not acceptable, and I refuse to remain silent any longer. I will teach my children to stand up for what is right.