Like many others, I found myself gaining weight during the quarantine. To be truthful, I kicked off the lockdown at a lower weight than usual, not due to any specific diet plan but rather life circumstances. I have polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), which makes weight management a challenge. When my condition is stable, I tend to lose weight, but when it flares up, my weight increases. Interestingly, my experiences with pregnancy have often led to significant weight loss since PCOS doesn’t seem to impact me during that time. It’s almost like the conversation around weight is overly simplistic, suggesting that just eating salads will solve everything!
When COVID-19 emerged, I was at a weight I hadn’t seen in years, largely because I had just welcomed a newborn. This situation left me grappling with mixed emotions about my body image. Frustratingly, I found myself feeling more valued and attractive at a smaller size. It’s not that I oppose the idea of my body being smaller; my weight loss was a natural side effect of my life changes, and I recognize that my body has the right to evolve along with my circumstances. However, I’ve worked diligently to dissociate my self-worth from my weight, and this journey has been anything but easy.
Over the past year, my family has been extremely cautious about COVID-19, resulting in us spending nearly all our time at home. While I concentrated on various aspects of life, my weight became a secondary concern. As a result, I’ve gained weight and returned to my typical size. Growing up in a culture saturated with dieting ideals, watching the scale rise again was initially disheartening; each pound felt like a step away from the so-called “ideal.” Yet, I refused to dwell in that negativity, as I have moved beyond that mindset.
I can confidently say that the effort I’ve put into separating my body image from my worth as a human being has been incredibly rewarding. By unpacking my feelings about my body, I’ve come to understand that childhood experiences shaped my self-perception. It’s crucial for me to acknowledge that my body was perfectly fine back then, even when others said otherwise, and it remains so today, irrespective of societal standards.
In the past, I mistakenly equated an empty stomach with moral superiority, believing that enduring hunger made me a better person—especially as a woman. This harmful mindset has no place in my life now. It’s vital for me to recognize that hunger signals my body’s need for nourishment, and everyone, including those with larger bodies, deserves to eat when they are hungry. During a pandemic, it’s completely normal to respond to those hunger cues more readily than when life was busier.
I have often felt the weight of society’s negative messages about larger bodies, fearing that gaining weight would label me as a failure or unattractive. However, I’ve learned that my value and beauty do not depend on fitting into an ever-changing ideal of thinness.
A couple of weeks ago, I visited my doctor for a non-weight-related concern. When the nurse called me, I asked to skip the scale that day, knowing I had gained weight since my last appointment. I just didn’t want to deal with it on a day already filled with anxiety. Fortunately, the nurse understood. When I met with my doctor, she inquired about my well-being and checked on my anxiety. She didn’t mention my weight. When I started to explain why I wanted to avoid the scale, she gently interrupted me, saying, “Stop. You don’t need to justify yourself. I’m not concerned about your weight today. You’re not a smoker, you don’t drink excessively, and you don’t have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, or diabetes. You have three kids and have been home with them for a year. If you came in with a health concern and started discussing your diet, I would advise you to stop worrying about that immediately. Let’s tackle one issue at a time. You can focus on weight loss when life settles down a bit. For now, let’s prioritize other aspects of your health.”
See? Accepting the changes in your body during such an unprecedented time isn’t just wise—it’s sound medical advice.
If you’ve gained a few pounds during the pandemic, know that you are far from alone, and you deserve to extend yourself some grace. There’s immense freedom in viewing your body as a dynamic, living entity that can adapt to your circumstances. Your changing body signifies that you are alive! So you’ve gained weight—so what? A fuller body isn’t a sign of weakness or failure; it’s a testament to the fact that even amidst a global crisis, you took care of yourself. So many beloved individuals have been lost to this virus, but you are still here. It’s perfectly okay if there’s a little more of you in the world than there was a year ago. And I’m grateful to say that I, too, am learning to embrace the changes in myself.
For further insights, check out this informative resource on pregnancy, and for those interested in fertility support, consider visiting Make a Mom for some excellent supplements. If you’re looking for more thoughts on this journey, explore this related blog post.