My son has faced a tumultuous year. Amidst navigating the transition into adulthood and leaving behind childhood passions, his father and I made the difficult decision to separate. We held on as long as we could for the sake of our children, but looking back, I question if that choice was truly in their best interest. I’ve heard repeatedly how challenging divorce can be for teenagers, and for those like my son—who is both sensitive and anxious—it can feel overwhelming.
His behavior at school became increasingly problematic, and he showed signs of distress at home, which was clearly his way of signaling for more support. Despite the challenges, I always believed in his inherent goodness. Eventually, I recognized that my efforts alone weren’t sufficient; he needed professional help that I couldn’t provide.
I first learned about cognitive therapy from a colleague. This proactive form of psychotherapy focuses on challenging detrimental thought patterns to change unwanted behaviors or address mood disorders like depression. Cognitive therapy could help my son understand the interplay between his thoughts, feelings, and physical reactions. Although he was resistant to discussing his feelings with a stranger, I thought this therapy could address the underlying triggers behind his anxiety.
Cognitive therapy promised to equip him with coping strategies and clarity about his emotions. It has proven to be a lifesaver. It has steered him away from potential downward spirals by providing solutions I simply couldn’t offer.
As psychologist Dr. Lisa Reynolds notes, cognitive therapy is “evidence-based and highly effective” in fostering “realistic thinking grounded in facts.” It has been shown to assist with a range of issues, from behavioral challenges to depressive symptoms. Through therapy, my son learned valuable techniques such as meditation and breathing exercises. His therapist explained how critical factors like sleep and nutrition profoundly affect mood, insights that resonated with him in ways I had struggled to convey.
Previously, I had discussed these topics with him, but hearing it from his therapist made a world of difference. Young people often dismiss their parents’ advice, and he was no exception. Now, he actively embraced healthier eating habits and prioritized getting adequate sleep because he understood their impact on his mental state. The therapist also educated him on the negative effects of excessive screen time and exposure to unsettling music.
Since starting therapy, my son has gained greater control over his emotional triggers. He recognizes how they negatively affect him, empowering him to set boundaries for his well-being. His therapist helped him decipher why he was feeling irritable and angry, providing him with a roadmap to address these emotions.
Months have passed without me needing to remind him about his meals or screen time. He has experienced the benefits of mindful breathing and taking a moment before reacting, which has kept him from slipping back into old habits.
Beyond benefiting my son, cognitive therapy has also been a valuable resource for me. Parenting is a journey, and our children won’t transform overnight. They will have their ups and downs, even with the right tools. However, understanding the root causes of our emotions equips us with the strength to manage them, and our children are no different—they crave the knowledge to advocate for themselves.
Cognitive therapy has been instrumental in helping my son gain self-awareness, and I would go as far as to say it has been life-changing for both of us.
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Summary
Cognitive therapy has transformed my son’s life, helping him cope with emotional challenges stemming from our divorce. By understanding the connection between his thoughts and feelings, he has gained control over his triggers and developed healthier habits. This journey has also provided me with valuable insights as a parent.
Keyphrase: Cognitive Therapy for Teens
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