The year 2020 revealed the true character of many people. For me, it prompted a complete reevaluation of my life and the individuals in it. Juggling remote work, parenting, and the challenges of a global health crisis left no room for negativity or toxic relationships.
During times of crisis, people often reveal their true selves. This was particularly evident in 2020, as I discovered that being pleasant does not equate to being virtuous. Some of those I once thought were kind-hearted turned out to harbor troubling beliefs, advocating for reckless decisions like reopening schools without regard for safety. The realization that parents of my children’s friends were signing petitions out of self-interest was shocking. Even those who identified as “good Christians” supported harmful leadership, while seemingly educated individuals rejected scientific guidance.
This experience has been profoundly unsettling. Individuals I once respected revealed themselves as hypocrites, and family members hurled insults via social media. It has been alarming to see how many prioritize personal convenience over the well-being of others.
I have always believed that most people are inherently good, but this past year has shifted my perspective. While I still hold onto some faith in humanity, I recognize that “most” is much smaller than I previously thought.
I tend to be trusting and forgiving, especially during chaotic times when we are all trying to navigate unfamiliar territory. However, the events of the past year have pushed the limits of my patience. There comes a point when it’s clear that someone is simply being selfish, and I have no energy left for selfishness.
Over the last year, I have actively chosen who I want in my life. Some friendships have deepened, while others have faded away. I’ve reconnected with old classmates who share similar values, even if we weren’t close before. Conversely, I have unfollowed numerous individuals who no longer align with my beliefs.
As we begin to see a glimmer of hope with the pandemic easing, we must confront the reality of those damaged relationships. What do we do about friendships that have waned due to differing values? Can we truly forget the actions of others when their true colors have been revealed? Personally, I’m not sure if I can.
I don’t wish to sever all ties with those who disagree with me, but it’s become clear that this isn’t just about differing opinions; it’s about core values. As I strive to live authentically, I find myself less willing to accommodate those who do not share my beliefs.
We may remain cordial during school drop-offs or bump into each other at the grocery store. We might exchange pleasantries about our children or compliment each other on our shoes. Over time, emotions may settle, and life could normalize. Yet, in the back of our minds, we know what we’ve seen.
While I believe people can change, I’m cautious about completely writing anyone off. Like everyone, I have made mistakes and have my own regrets. I still hope that those I once considered good people might someday act in alignment with those values. However, when someone’s actions have caused significant harm—like refusing to wear a mask or supporting dangerous leadership—the bar for redemption is high.
Reflecting on 2020, it has become clear that we cannot unsee those true colors.
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In summary, the pandemic has forced us to reevaluate our relationships and identify those that no longer serve us. As we emerge from this crisis, we must confront the reality of our connections and recognize the true colors of those around us.
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