The Reality of Being an Only Child (From an Only Child’s Perspective)

woman holding tiny baby shoesAt home insemination kit

As an only child, I’ve heard my fair share of comments and questions throughout my life:

  • “It must have been nice to have all your parents’ attention.”
  • “Only children tend to be selfish.”
  • “Didn’t you feel lonely?”
  • “You must have been spoiled.”
  • “I bet you were great at entertaining yourself.”
  • “Only children have a harder time socializing than others.”

If you’re an only child, you’ve likely encountered similar sentiments as you’ve transitioned from childhood to adulthood.

I am an only child, and I enjoyed growing up as one. Did I occasionally wish for a sibling to share experiences with? Absolutely. However, for the most part, I was satisfied with my unique situation.

Did I receive a lot of attention? Yes and no. While it was wonderful to have my parents’ full focus, there were moments when I longed for a sibling to divert some of that attention away. On the other hand, I became quite skilled at keeping myself occupied, which meant my parents didn’t have to keep a constant eye on me, especially as I matured.

Being an only child often feels like being both under scrutiny and completely independent at the same time. It’s a balancing act.

Am I more selfish than others? I might have been a bit selfish as a young child, but many kids go through that phase. Like everyone, I eventually learned empathy and compassion for those around me. Despite having an abundance of toys and comforts, I didn’t develop a materialistic attitude solely because I was an only child. I view myself as a generous and selfless individual; having no siblings doesn’t inherently lead to selfishness.

Was I lonely? There were instances of loneliness, but more frequently, I faced boredom. There’s a distinction between feeling lonely and merely having nothing to do. I often found myself wishing for an engaging activity rather than craving companionship. In fact, being comfortable in my own thoughts has enabled me to thrive in solitude.

Was I spoiled? I certainly received plenty of toys and luxuries growing up. If that qualifies as spoiled, then yes. However, true spoiling negatively impacts character. I believe I have a solid moral compass and a deep appreciation for my blessings. Just because some parents may indulge their only child to prevent boredom doesn’t mean it leads to a flawed personality.

Am I skilled at entertaining myself? Without a doubt! From an early age, I learned how to amuse myself. As an only child, I often interacted with adults, which taught me to engage with them in ways that were either entertaining or simply observational. This self-sufficiency is a valuable skill that continues to serve me well, and only children can often become exceptional entertainers or performers.

However, being an only child does come with its own set of pressures. You are the sole focus—the first, last, and only. If your parents had dreams or aspirations they wanted to fulfill through their children, you are the one to carry that weight. This also includes the expectation of having children, which can create guilt if you choose not to.

Am I bad at socializing? This is where it gets interesting. Even though I spent a lot of time alone and was somewhat of a loner in school, I maintained a close circle of friends that have lasted decades. People often claim that only children miss out on vital social skills because they lack siblings to argue with or navigate conflicts.

Did being an only child hinder my social abilities? Not at all. I spent over ten years in customer service and excelled at it. Only children can be excellent communicators because we tend to be observant and attuned to the needs of others. While we may not require constant company, we can still understand and connect with people on a deeper level.

In conclusion, I believe only children often receive an unfair reputation. We did not choose our family dynamics, and we adapt as best as we can to the environment we are given. Being an only child is not the tragedy some may portray it to be; it does not automatically make someone selfish or greedy. Those traits can arise from any family background.

For more insights on home insemination, check out this other blog post. If you want to learn more about at-home insemination, Make A Mom is an excellent resource. Additionally, Women’s Health offers great information on pregnancy and infertility.

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Summary:

Being an only child has its unique advantages and challenges. While some may perceive only children as selfish or lonely, the reality is often more nuanced. Only children can develop strong social skills, a sense of independence, and a unique perspective on life. Rather than being a tragedy, being an only child can foster self-sufficiency and creativity, as well as a strong moral compass.

Keyphrase: only child perspective

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