My teenage daughter was up late binge-watching “Ginny and Georgia” last night, and now she’s sound asleep as it approaches 11 a.m. Since she doesn’t have a Zoom call for another half an hour, I’ll let her continue resting.
The state of my children’s rooms is chaotic, resembling a tornado aftermath, and my son is on day three of wearing the same outfit. I’d like to think they are brushing their teeth at least once a day, but I wouldn’t bet on it.
When the pandemic first hit a year ago, I naively believed it would pass in just a few weeks, like many others. But as reality set in and virtual learning began, I did my best to maintain a sense of normalcy for my kids—it was for them and for me. I felt the need to adhere to schedules and routines, to stay productive and not lose ground in my parenting or my life. I kept bedtimes consistent, ensured they woke up at a reasonable hour, and continued with family meals. I tried to maintain a façade of normalcy while feeling terrified inside.
I resisted letting go of responsibilities—whether it was laundry, meal prep, or my kids’ hygiene and screen time. However, I quickly drained my energy. Eventually, I had to accept that not only was I letting things slip, but everything was unraveling. Household chores fell by the wayside, bedtimes became lax, and I allowed my kids to keep their devices in their rooms until late into the night.
This is what happens when you desperately cling to a picture-perfect version of life during such an unordinary time—everything implodes. And when it does, it’s not a gentle shift; it’s a loud crash. Honestly, that crash felt liberating.
As parents, maintaining the status quo for our children during this time is an impossible challenge. They aren’t attending school full-time, and they’re missing out on many activities they once enjoyed. We’re expected to shoulder that burden and ensure everyone stays on track. But how? That’s a monumental task for one person, let alone for multiple children.
An article in The New York Times highlighted concerns from addiction specialists about how much more television kids are watching during the pandemic. Parents, understandably, reacted with frustration; many of us are doing our best to keep afloat during this trying time.
As a mom of three teenagers, I won’t tolerate judgment about my choices right now. USA Today consulted experts who advised parents to simply be there for their kids and offer support. Mary Dozier, a psychology professor at the University of Delaware, noted that children can overcome significant challenges if they have support.
I can support my kids, but I cannot meet the unrealistic expectation of keeping everything normal. They deserve comfort too. Their devices are their primary link to friends outside our home. If my son wants to eat three bowls of Cocoa Puffs and walk around without shoes—even in the snow—I’ll let him.
We all need support and comfort. What we don’t need is judgment for not maintaining normalcy during such an abnormal period. If that means skipping dinner prep and letting my kids play video games for hours after schoolwork, so be it.
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