I’ve always been a chatterbox. From the time I was 18 months old, I’ve had a lot to say, and I can’t imagine it stopping anytime soon. With a degree in English and counseling, I used to pride myself on being a great listener. While I still strive to be attentive to my family and friends, the distractions of raising two kids can be overwhelming.
When it comes to parenting, one thing is clear: I rarely stop talking. I find myself constantly offering my opinions on everything from their meals to their outfits and even their playtime. One day, however, I had an epiphany: How can I expect my children to grow into independent adults if I’m always hovering and directing their every move? I decided it was time to try a new approach.
I took my kids to a local children’s museum, buzzing with energy from groups of kids on field trips, all wearing matching shirts. The big bubble area and sandbox were popular attractions, but my focus was on a craft table where my nearly 3-year-old daughter and I settled down. The table was filled with all kinds of materials: paper, glue, scissors, and an array of textures for the young artists to explore.
As I watched my daughter gather supplies—magazine cutouts, felt, glue, and ribbon—I felt an overwhelming urge to intervene. I wanted to say things like, “Be careful with those scissors,” or “That’s too much glue.” But for some reason, I chose to keep my mouth shut.
I could have filled the air with corrections and suggestions, but instead, I let her creativity take the lead. To my surprise, she created something entirely of her own imagination. Sure, it was messy, with glue dripped all over the table, but it was uniquely hers. The rest of the day, I committed to keeping my thoughts to myself.
What I learned was eye-opening: As long as my child isn’t in imminent danger, they’re unlikely to get hurt. They’re capable of cleaning up their messes and learning from their mistakes. In fact, they’re often more imaginative without my constant interruptions. I’ve even seen them try to resolve conflicts on their own, with a reasonable (okay, 50%) success rate in avoiding chaos.
I’m determined to continue this journey of staying quiet and allowing my kids to navigate their own experiences. I don’t know when I became the type of mother who can’t stop talking, but it makes sense that my kids tune me out—they hear my voice nagging them all day long. It’s no wonder they sometimes ignore me!
Over time, I hope that this practice of keeping my mouth shut becomes second nature. When I feel the urge to intervene, I’ll work on locking those thoughts away. I know my children will appreciate my efforts, and they will learn to become more independent in the process. And when I do have something important to say, perhaps they’ll actually be willing to listen.
If you’re interested in exploring alternative parenting approaches, consider checking out this insightful article on home insemination at Modern Family Blog and this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination from Healthline.
Summary:
In my journey as a parent, I’ve learned the value of stepping back and allowing my children to explore their creativity and independence without constant correction. By keeping my mouth shut, I’ve discovered that they can learn from their own experiences, make decisions, and even resolve conflicts on their own.