To My Beloved: My Solo Intimacy Is Not About You

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Dear Love,

You are my partner, my closest companion, and my heart’s desire. We have stood by each other through thick and thin, sharing both laughter and tears, and I cherish you just as much today as the day we exchanged vows. You are an incredibly passionate and creative lover, and our intimate life is fulfilling, vibrant, and deeply satisfying.

So, I can sense your curiosity: why do I still engage in self-pleasure? If our intimate moments are fulfilling, why do I sometimes seek pleasure on my own? I imagine it feels a bit unsettling to think of me having a secret solo life—like a hidden affair that you’re not part of.

Let me assure you that I’m a devoted husband and a father, not a teenager driven by insatiable urges. So, do I truly need to engage in this act? The simple answer is no; it’s not a necessity for me. However, there are times that I desire it. Allow me to explain.

Since my teenage years, I’ve found that when emotions overwhelm me—whether they are sexual or otherwise—it helps to take a moment for myself. Life can be stressful, and I sometimes just need a little peace. For me, self-pleasure has been a reliable way to clear my mind.

Years later, I still enjoy it. Some people unwind with a glass of wine or a soothing massage; I find relief in self-pleasure. It’s natural, cost-effective, and a good way to relax.

Certainly, being with you is incredibly rewarding. When we connect, my worries fade away, and I experience pure joy. However, there are times when our desires don’t align perfectly. You might be tired, stressed, or simply not in the mood. In those moments, I may choose to retreat and take care of myself.

Even if we were always in sync, I’m not sure that partnered intimacy would fully replace self-pleasure. Being intimate with someone involves vulnerability and communication. While I adore that connection, there are moments when I simply want to focus on myself. It’s about finding a balance between shared experiences and personal moments.

Just like you enjoy solitary walks sometimes, I also appreciate my own private time. You wouldn’t want my company every time you step outside for fresh air, and I respect your need for space.

As for my solo acts being a secret, they don’t have to be. I’m open to discussing it if you’re curious, and you can join me if you’d like—no pressure, though. I respect your boundaries.

You might wonder what goes through my mind during these moments. Honestly, I let my thoughts wander freely. Sometimes I think of you, but other times, memories from my past or fleeting images come to mind. It’s a liberating escape that doesn’t detract from my love for you.

I’m not fantasizing about someone else or planning an affair; rather, I’m engaging with transient thoughts that don’t linger.

In short, I do engage in self-pleasure, and I’ve done so for many years. It’s not a reflection of any deficiencies in our relationship; it’s simply a way for me to cope or find relaxation. I always return to you feeling renewed and grateful for our connection.

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In summary, self-pleasure is an aspect of my life that exists independently of our relationship. It serves various purposes, from relieving stress to simply enjoying a private moment. It does not diminish my love or commitment to you. I appreciate you and look forward to our shared experiences, always returning to you with renewed energy.

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