Amidst writing, assisting my son with remote schooling, and tackling the laundry, I found myself scrolling through Facebook. A post in a mom’s group popped up, asking how often members managed to have date nights with their partners. I quickly typed, “Not at all right now, thanks to the pandemic.”
The original poster shot back at anyone who mentioned the virus. To me, she replied, “LOL! Chill out, Debbie.” Then she added, “You mean to tell me that your parents, friends, and family haven’t seen your kids since COVID?” First off, I don’t think this woman understands the term “Debbie,” and secondly, yes, we adhere to the guidelines set by the CDC.
In my area, most restaurants don’t offer indoor dining, and even if they did, I wouldn’t feel comfortable. The thought of being mask-less around strangers while eating in a confined space is far from appealing. It honestly sounds like the perfect recipe for a panic attack. How can I unwind and enjoy time with my spouse when surrounded by unfamiliar people munching away too close for comfort?
Plus, how do we even find a babysitter for our four kids? No one is going to quarantine for two weeks and take a COVID-19 test just to watch my children for a few hours. I’m definitely not hiring someone to come over in the frigid winter months to spend time indoors with my children, all masked up.
Then there’s the significant reason we choose to follow the CDC guidelines. I live with a chronic autoimmune disease. While my immune system isn’t compromised, falling ill can lead to complications for me. Elevated blood sugars can put me at risk of diabetic ketoacidosis (DKA)—a serious condition where the body starts shutting down. If you think that sounds terrible, you’d be right.
I have four kids to look after. Why would I risk going out and potentially contracting a virus that could make my entire family ill? No thanks.
Date nights can happen at home. There are major advantages to cozying up with my husband without changing out of my sweats. I never enjoyed movie theaters anyway; they’re overpriced, overcrowded, and I can’t pause the film when nature calls. We can stream a movie from our couch, indulge in as much popcorn as we want, and save money by skipping the sitter and overpriced meals.
What I don’t understand is why someone so quick to dismiss science gets so worked up over another person’s decision to follow guidelines. What’s behind their anger? Until we collectively take responsibility regarding the coronavirus, it will continue to disrupt our lives and dampen our spirits.
Normally, I steer clear of engaging with combative individuals. However, I broke my own rule and pointed out that labeling a chronically ill person as a Debbie for following CDC guidelines is rude and ableist. I also clarified that my kids haven’t been socializing with friends and family unless they are outdoors, distanced, and masked.
I wasn’t alone in my thoughts about staying home during this pandemic. Several other members chimed in, sharing that date nights were off the table right now for various reasons. This didn’t sit well with the original poster.
As usual, there are always those in online groups who seem to seek conflict rather than honest dialogue. They seem to post just to rally support for their own views, and any dissent tends to hurt their pride.
I’m at a point where I can’t address every person who chooses not to follow the CDC guidelines to stay home, wear masks, and practice social distancing. Despite over 400,000 American deaths and more than 24 million infections, denial still persists. It’s heartbreaking and infuriating that some prioritize their “freedoms” over the well-being of others.
I take their denial personally. As someone in a vulnerable population, when I encounter someone without a mask (or wearing it improperly) who invades my personal space, I feel disrespected. Do they not value my life as much as theirs? To them, perhaps I’m just disposable.
Maybe it was futile to inform Date Night Debbie that I won’t be going out for a steak dinner with my husband because of the pandemic. I think my frustrations boiled over regarding those who dismiss guidelines, and I felt compelled to express my thoughts. I wasn’t rude, just honest.
That seemed to be too much for her. She’s made up her mind, as have many others, that the virus isn’t serious. I can’t believe that nearly a year into this situation, there are still people who refuse to recognize the profound impact the pandemic has had on our society and who refuse to do their part. They are exhausting and burdening the rest of us. I wish I could offer some wisdom or encouragement, but the truth is, like many of you adhering to guidelines, we’re just over it.
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Summary:
In this article, the author shares their experiences within a Facebook mom group, where discussions about date nights often downplay the seriousness of COVID-19. The writer expresses frustration with individuals who dismiss health guidelines while navigating their own chronic illness. The piece highlights the balance between maintaining safety and wanting to enjoy life, illustrating how the pandemic has reshaped social interactions and the importance of community responsibility.
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