Today is December 3rd, and I woke up feeling genuinely joyful. It’s also the anniversary of a day that marked the lowest point in my life, three years ago. On that day, I experienced pain, betrayal, and fear like I had never known. I felt utterly lost, alone, and helpless. The thought of ever finding happiness again seemed impossible.
Three years ago, what I believed was the end of my life at 33 was, in fact, a new beginning. The weather was dreary and cold, matching my mood as I sobbed on my shower floor, crying as if each tear mirrored the raindrops that fell that night. I had been ashamed to admit that my husband—my best friend and my everything—decided he didn’t want to be with me anymore. And he didn’t even want to try to make things work.
It hit me like a ton of bricks. In an instant, I felt like I had lost everything and everyone. I had been living for someone else, and when things got tough—like enduring three miscarriages, multiple surgeries, and countless doctor visits—I became obsessed with making other people happy. It’s still difficult to revisit those memories, but I vowed to never feel that way again.
I know my story can help others, and I’m aware I’m not alone in this experience. That’s why I continue to embrace vulnerability, even if it means I have to relive painful moments. Happiness is waiting for you on the other side.
No, I haven’t remarried, and I don’t have kids yet. Being 36 means I’m categorized as “geriatric” in the OBGYN’s office, and I no longer own a house. The past year has been one of the toughest of my life as I’ve embarked on the journey of discovering who I really am. Yet, I can honestly say I’ve never been happier.
That doesn’t mean I’m free from bad days or months. However, I now confront my problems head-on, allowing myself to truly feel them so I can navigate through them. The future is uncertain, but I am taking charge of my destiny; if not me, then who? No one is going to save me, and I wouldn’t want them to. I know I can handle this—just like you can, too.
I’m eager to share my journey in hopes of inspiring others to never neglect themselves. Perhaps I can help spare someone a few years of struggle. True healing began when I learned to lean on others, share my experiences, embrace vulnerability, and accept that I am enough.
Confidence to forge my own path was the only thing that held me back. Like a muscle, it grows stronger through action, effort, and persistence. It’s never “easy,” but it’s always worth it. I am still in training.
Some days feel longer than others. I remember asking my therapist when the pain would lessen, or when I would stop waking up with betrayal as the first thought on my mind. Then one day it happened—three years flew by, and I found myself feeling grateful.
Life is short, so I’m unapologetically focused on my own journey, putting my head down, following my heart, and letting go of negativity. Once you’ve faced the worst day of your life, it seems trivial to let anything hold you back.
For more insights on self-discovery and healing, take a look at another blog post we have here.
If you find yourself on a similar path, know that resources exist to help, like this page for pregnancy and home insemination, or check out this product that can aid in your journey.
In summary, while my past has shaped who I am, it no longer defines me. I choose happiness and growth every day, and I encourage others to do the same.
Keyphrase: Divorced woman finding happiness
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