On Loving Someone Who Uses They/Them Pronouns

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Navigating relationships can be tricky, especially when it comes to understanding and respecting different identities. I’ve often found myself in awkward situations, like picking at a sad salad at a restaurant, afraid to ask the server for something better. When conversations shift to sensitive topics, I feel my heart race with anxiety, terrified of potential confrontation.

However, I’m learning to embrace discomfort. About a year and a half ago, I began dating a remarkable person named Sam, who identifies as nonbinary. Unlike me, Sam is accustomed to confrontation, having spent a lifetime explaining their identity and assessing social dynamics. This experience has honed their ability to address ignorance with a blend of grace and charm.

Yet, I recognize that existing in a world where nonbinary identities are often misunderstood can be exhausting. For some, Sam’s very existence is a challenge. For others, it merely presents a learning opportunity. For those who are transgender—especially nonbinary individuals—explaining and defending one’s identity can feel like a full-time job.

As Sam’s partner, part of my commitment is to clear the way for them when necessary. I must become comfortable with discomfort and take on the responsibility of educating those around us. This means preparing friends and family to understand what being nonbinary entails and how to properly use they/them pronouns. I refuse to put Sam in situations where they might encounter prejudice simply because I didn’t do my homework. While we cannot avoid all instances of bigotry, I can ensure that Sam doesn’t face it alone, especially from those close to me.

Advocating for Nonbinary Individuals

If you care for a transgender person, it’s essential to advocate for them. This is especially true for nonbinary individuals using they/them pronouns, as they often face significant misunderstanding. Whether you’re their partner, friend, or family member, you should be ready to defend their identity, even if it makes you anxious.

For parents, this might mean standing up for your child’s right to use their preferred pronouns and access appropriate restrooms. For friends, it may involve correcting others when they misgender them. If you’re a partner, it might even require cutting ties with family members who refuse to respect your loved one’s identity.

As cis individuals who love nonbinary people, we must be prepared to explain they/them pronouns to those unfamiliar with them. Many people simply need a grammar refresher. A helpful analogy is, “Someone left their backpack on this bench. I hope they come back for it.” This demonstrates that singular they/them pronouns are already part of our everyday language.

Of course, you’ll encounter those who are unwilling to understand. Facing rejection or ridicule is daunting, but it pales in comparison to what your nonbinary loved one endures daily. Every effort to support and defend them is crucial. It’s vital to correct people who misgender them and, when necessary, to distance yourself from those who refuse to accept their identity.

Listening to Your Nonbinary Loved One

Ultimately, the nonbinary person you love should be your guide on how to support them best. While Sam is confident in advocating for themselves, they appreciate my efforts to educate those around us ahead of time, especially in our current virtual world. Sometimes, it’s simply about respecting their needs, which might mean avoiding certain events or people.

Nonbinary individuals are incredible, and loving one is a privilege that carries a responsibility to be more than just an ally. The journey towards acceptance and understanding is ongoing, and those of us who love them must actively contribute to that progress, whether through education, support, or defense.

Further Reading

For further insights into home insemination and pregnancy, you might find this article on home insemination helpful, as well as the authoritative information provided by Make a Mom and WebMD.

Potential Search Queries:

  • How to support a nonbinary partner
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  • Advocating for transgender rights in everyday life

In summary, loving someone who identifies as nonbinary requires effort and a willingness to confront discomfort. It’s vital to educate those around you and advocate for your loved one’s identity, ensuring they feel supported and respected.

Keyphrase: nonbinary identity

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