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This week: How do you manage ongoing criticism regarding your children’s screen time, particularly when it’s coming from their grandparents?
Dear Home Insemination Kit,
My parents live nearby and have been super involved with our kids while my partner and I work through the pandemic. I truly appreciate their help and the fact that they can be a part of our lives safely. However, there’s one aspect that’s really been bothering me: my mom, especially, is constantly on my case about our kids’ screen time. Our children, aged 6 and 3, each have Kindles for games and movies. We don’t really stick to a strict schedule for their screen use, and my mom frequently makes us feel guilty, insisting that our kids need to be “busy” during their downtime to avoid being lazy or “frying their brains.” It drives her nuts when they choose to play games on the couch instead of doing whatever activity she thinks they should be engaged in. Are we bad parents for allowing our kids unlimited screen time? They don’t seem like screen zombies, but I’m unsure if we’re in the wrong or if my mom should ease up.
First off, here’s some good news: We’re living through a pandemic, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about anything that isn’t genuinely harmful to your kids. If your family is managing to get through this time without causing harm to one another or others, you’re doing just fine.
Now, I’m aware this might be seen as “controversial” in certain parenting circles, but I firmly believe that the extreme concern around the amount of screen time for children is often unwarranted.
Let me clarify: I support using parental controls, knowing what games and content your kids are viewing, and I don’t think kids should have their own smartphones. I also believe it’s important for kids to explore hobbies and interests beyond screens. However, I’m not worried about kids spending an hour playing puzzles, enjoying shows like Daniel Tiger, or laughing at Blippi’s antics.
Consider why you might binge-watch a Netflix series. It’s a way to relax, enjoy, and escape reality, right? The same applies to kids with their devices. Why is it acceptable for adults to unwind this way, but we get all worked up when kids do the same?
It seems that your mom’s fixation on keeping the kids “busy” is her problem, not theirs. I know people who grew up in homes where they were constantly pushed to be active, and now they struggle to unwind without feeling guilty about not being productive. It’s a shame.
Many individuals who fill their time with endless activities often do so as a response to past trauma. Regardless of where your mom’s perspective comes from, she’s projecting it onto your children, which isn’t fair.
You might want to explain to her that your kids are not lacking in interests or brain development simply because they choose to relax with technology. This generation is growing up in a digital age and will always have technology at their fingertips. As long as they’re getting fresh air between episodes of Blippi, and engaging in other fun activities too, they’re perfectly okay. I assure you.
Especially during this time, we need to allow our kids to recharge in whatever way works for them. After an honest conversation, I hope your mom will either come to a better understanding or at least keep her opinions to herself. While free childcare is certainly valuable, your kids shouldn’t internalize her worries.
For more insights, check out this other blog post and learn more about how to navigate parenting challenges. You might also find useful information at Make a Mom, an authority on this subject, and WebMD, which is an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
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Summary:
Navigating parental criticism regarding children’s screen time, particularly from grandparents, can be challenging. It’s essential to remember that during these unprecedented times, the well-being of your family is paramount. While it’s important to monitor screen time, children can benefit from technology as a form of relaxation. Open communication with family can help manage differing perspectives on parenting practices.
Keyphrase: Kids’ screen time criticism
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