As we welcome a new year, a collective sigh of relief echoes across the globe. Regardless of who you are or where you reside, it’s safe to say this year has been quite challenging. So how do you wrap up a year that has tested you to your limits? Drawing from my own experiences, I’m here to share some insights.
First, let me share my background. Over the past several years, I’ve faced a series of tough situations.
In 2015, I received a cervical cancer diagnosis, went into remission, became pregnant with my first child, and ultimately lost that child along with a fallopian tube due to an ectopic pregnancy. The following year was a whirlwind of fertility treatments, where I spent countless mornings at a busy clinic, my arms resembling pincushions from all the blood draws, and let’s just say my sense of privacy was completely shattered.
2017 brought the joy of my first son, only to have him taken from me shortly after birth. Then in 2018, my second son arrived prematurely and gravely ill, leading us to spend most of that year in the hospital watching him fight for his life. While 2019 was relatively calm, anxiety and PTSD crept in, filling the gaps left by years of heartache.
I’ve bid farewell to the past four New Years with the hope that the departing year would take away the heavy burden I carried, and that the new year would bring some relief. I’ve tried various methods to cope: surrounding myself with upbeat friends, indulging in distractions, throwing myself pity parties, cursing the universe, or even opting to ignore the celebrations altogether.
Whether you’re feeling hopeful or wary about the upcoming year, here’s my advice on how to effectively say goodbye to a year that felt like a magnet for misfortune.
Actually Say Goodbye
Leaving behind emotional baggage can be challenging, but it’s worth a try. Saying goodbye doesn’t mean erasing memories or moving on without acknowledging the pain. It’s about not letting the past hinder your progress. Reflect on the good, the bad, and everything in between, and consider how these experiences have shaped you.
Ask yourself what this year has taken from you: time with loved ones, your plans, your sense of security. For those who faced extreme hardships this year, the scars may remain. Honor your journey, acknowledge your pain, and seek ways to step into the new year with coping strategies. Personally, I plan to jot down everything this year took from me and burn that list at midnight. Maybe I’ll even start the new year with a session with my therapist—care to join me?
Appreciate the Positives
In 2017, I endured the unimaginable as I held my son as he took his last breath. Yet, that was also the year I became a mother. I refuse to let my son’s brief but beautiful life be overshadowed by his death. As I welcomed that year’s end, I said both goodbye and thank you.
This year had its share of difficulties, but it also brought unexpected positives. Yes, juggling a full-time job and a toddler during lockdown was tough, but it allowed me precious time with my son. While I miss physical hugs from friends and family, virtual gatherings have helped me reconnect with old friends across the globe. And let’s be honest, I’ve never enjoyed wearing pants anyway!
As December 31 approaches, make a list of the positives that came your way this year, like newfound adaptability, an appreciation for safe spaces, or your growing collection of comfy leggings. Carry those beautiful experiences into the new year.
Manage Your Expectations
After a rough year, it’s easy to set sky-high expectations for the next one. When the clock struck midnight to mark the start of 2016, I felt as though things couldn’t get worse, and yet they did.
As we bid farewell to this year, let’s embrace hope for a brighter future, but don’t let towering expectations cloud your ability to find joy in life’s little moments. For years, I wore loose-fitting clothes, convinced that the next year would finally bring my long-awaited pregnancy. In doing so, I forgot to enjoy the life I had.
While 2021 holds the promise of vaccines, a return to pre-pandemic life, and potential social change, it’s essential to remember that life is unpredictable. Move into the new year with enthusiasm, but stay grounded. Set achievable goals, and remember to celebrate every milestone, no matter how small.
Let’s say it together: “Goodbye 2020, I’ll never forget you, but you can take a hike.”
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In summary, as we transition into a new year, it’s essential to reflect on what we’ve endured, appreciate the positives, and manage our expectations moving forward.
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