The “Elf on the Shelf,” a book published in 2004 by Carol Aebersold and her daughter, Chanda Bell, illustrates how magical elves visit the North Pole during Christmas to assist Santa in determining which children are naughty or nice.
Since my son was born the same year the book came out, we welcomed an elf into our family around 2009. The kids named our elf Charlie. Every morning throughout the holiday season, they would eagerly search the house for Charlie in his latest hiding spot.
We never got too creative with Charlie’s antics, unlike some parents who would create elaborate scenes like messy kitchens with flour everywhere. However, Charlie brought joy to our home by appearing on the Christmas tree after we decorated it, hanging from ceiling fans, hiding on tables in the living room, swinging from the fruit bowl, having dance parties with action figures, and even reading Christmas stories to stuffed animals. He traveled to the North Pole with the elves of our friends, Max and Bella, and even made appearances at their grandparent’s house when the kids stayed over.
Managing Charlie was a fun experience, but it also added to the busy holiday season. The kids would leave him notes filled with questions such as “How old are you?” or “What makes Christmas special?” There were nights when Charlie would forget to move, leading to a flurry of notes the next day from my kids, all wondering what was wrong with him.
This week, I want to reach out to all the younger parents who are currently navigating the nightly challenge of hiding the elf, jumping out of bed just as you’re drifting off to sleep to reposition him, sometimes cursing the creators of this holiday tradition. I recently experienced something that will eventually happen to you too.
My youngest child is now 11, standing at the crossroads between childhood and the teenage years. He is in that phase where he both believes and doubts, where things that once seemed magical now feel less so, and where the typical cynicism of adolescence has started to creep in.
He has been telling me that he no longer believes Charlie moves on his own. He insists that I or his dad are the ones moving him. He points out that his older siblings have stopped writing to Charlie or searching for him. One morning, my son whispered to Charlie and then looked at me, saying, “I just told Charlie where to hide to prove he’s magic. If he’s not there, I’ll know it’s you.”
The following morning, Charlie wasn’t where my son had instructed him to be. Then, my son loudly told Charlie to “hide in the bathroom tonight.” When Charlie was indeed in the bathroom the next morning, my son threw his hands up, claiming he had proven his point. “Charlie only hid where I told him to when you could hear my whisper. I know it’s you.”
That night, with tears streaming down my face, I wrote a note from Charlie to my son, expressing:
“It’s completely normal to question the magic. Every child goes through this as they grow up. I don’t take it personally. This happens to every elf and every child. That’s why I move less as you get older, just as I grow older. As kids mature, they believe less in elf magic but more in the true magic of Christmas: love, giving, traditions, family, and friends. In that way, I’ll always remain magical, even as a retired elf. I’ve cherished being Charlie the Elf for the past 16 years, and I will always be your elf. I will forever thrive on Christmas Spirit. Love, Charlie.”
That night, my son left Charlie a note apologizing for doubting the magic. He now half-heartedly searches for Charlie in the mornings while his older siblings sleep in. I treasure every moment of this, knowing that the note I penned is likely one of the last Charlie notes I’ll ever write. Raising children can be overwhelming at times, but it doesn’t last forever. Savor the elf experience while it lasts.
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Summary:
The emotional journey of watching your child grow up often includes the bittersweet moment of their Elf on the Shelf retirement. Despite the challenges of hiding the elf, the joy and magic it brings to holiday traditions are precious. As children mature, they begin to question the magic, which can be difficult for parents to accept. However, embracing the transition while cherishing the memories can help ease the sadness of this rite of passage.
Keyphrase: Elf on the Shelf retirement
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