This week, I managed to sneak away from my home office to tackle a trip to Trader Joe’s and Target during what I hoped would be less hectic hours, headphones in place as I listened to a conference call. As a full-time remote worker, the expectation has grown that I’ll be on calls from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. each day while my kids are at daycare for 8-9 hours. With my extreme aversion to germs and crowds, I picked a mid-day slot to collect a Christmas ham, holiday chocolates for my kids’ teachers, breakfast items for Christmas morning, and the only yogurt my son will eat.
After parking, I masked up and ventured to the waiting area outside Trader Joe’s, only to be met by a line that stretched to the end of the strip mall. The sheer number of people sent me back to my car like a startled cat.
Determined to get something done before my next call at 2:30 p.m., I moved on to Target to collect an online diaper order via their Drive Up service. After an encounter with a rude driver in a black sedan, I finally secured a parking spot, only to find I was stuck waiting for at least ten other cars circling around for their orders.
Twenty minutes later, tangled in my headphones and mask while on the call, I finally yelled to the attendant, “There! Those are my diapers!” I got my case of diapers, but I could feel my patience wearing thin.
On the way home, as I listened to my boss passionately discuss contract requirements, I stopped at a nearby strip mall to mail a stack of Christmas cards. Because, for some unfathomable reason, I still take the time to have professional photos done and create fancy cards for 75 people—most of whom won’t reciprocate, especially during a pandemic. Mask on, I reached the mailbox only to find it jammed. Out of breath, holding unmailed cards in my hand, I retreated to my car and tossed the cards onto the floor.
In that moment, I realized I had run out of patience.
Once again, I felt like I had failed at everything, a feeling that has become all too familiar during COVID. I’m either struggling at work because I’m distracted by a Kindergarten Zoom call in the kitchen while daycare is closed due to a COVID scare or I’m failing at parenting because I’ve sent my kids to daycare during a pandemic so I can focus on my demanding job. And let’s not even begin to discuss the chaos surrounding my son’s education and homework.
Emails from HR keep popping into my inbox suggesting I take time for myself—“Try meditation!” or “Incorporate self-care during these trying times.” Their intentions are good, but they feel empty and infuriating. I sit through back-to-back meetings, watching my one precious hour of free time vanish, that hour I could have used to create holiday magic or take a relaxing walk in the sunshine.
Let me just add meditation to my ever-growing to-do list:
- Organize six weeks of Zoom worksheets and STEM assignments for school projects
- Write my kids’ Santa lists, tape them to the fireplace, and order all gifts online
- Figure out what my in-laws want for Christmas and order it
- Decide whether to send kids back to daycare after a COVID scare or risk exposing elderly family members
- Buy eight Starbucks gift cards, eight small gift bags, and chocolates for daycare teachers
- Try to keep it together during work meetings
- Purchase gifts for the children’s shelter sponsored by daycare
- Purchase gifts for the senior center sponsored by my son’s class
- MEDITATE/SELF-CARE
- Send $20 via Venmo for the Kindergarten teacher’s gift
- Find and print holiday recipes
- Order new leggings for my Peloton workouts
So here it is — I’m calling out the bullshit.
We’ve all seen the articles and tweets. Women today are expected to juggle more than ever: demanding full-time jobs, perfect parenting, maintaining fitness with 5 a.m. Peloton rides, holiday magic-making, meal planning, and now we have a pandemic thrown into the mix. And we’re expected to do it all with a smile, remain composed at work, and not lose our cool with our kids or partners while trying to climb the corporate ladder. It’s impossible.
Women are leaving the workforce in droves, and rightly so. The system is not designed for our success. Something has to change. We can’t be everything for everyone all the time. That notion is pure fantasy, and I’ve had enough.
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Search Queries:
- How to handle the holiday stress as a working mom?
- Tips for managing work and parenting during COVID-19.
- What to include in a holiday to-do list for busy moms?
- Strategies for self-care for working mothers.
- Navigating holiday shopping and kids’ education during a pandemic.
Summary:
The challenges of being a working mom during the holidays have been amplified by the pandemic, leaving many feeling overwhelmed. Juggling professional obligations with family responsibilities, especially during chaotic times, has become an exhausting endeavor. The unrealistic expectations placed on women to excel in every aspect of life are unsustainable, leading to a growing number of mothers reevaluating their roles in the workforce. It’s time to acknowledge the mental load and advocate for a more supportive system.
Keyphrase: Working mom holiday stress
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