Parenting Insights on Cursing
My children swear. My nine-year-old has been known to say “hell” and “damn” out loud. He once sang David Bowie’s “Oh! You Pretty Things” and used the word “bitch.” He often exclaims “Oh my God!” in either excitement or annoyance. My eleven-year-old is a bit sneakier; I only find out about his swearing through his siblings. My seven-year-old, to my knowledge, hasn’t cursed yet, but it wouldn’t bother me if he did.
While there are certain words I do not allow them to use, and they know better than to curse in public, I generally turn a blind eye when I hear “bad” words from them.
Curse Words Have Lost Their Impact
In many cases, words like hell, damn, bitch, or even the F-word have largely lost their significance. When someone says “damn,” they are usually expressing frustration, not condemning something to hell. The term “bitch” is often used to describe something challenging. Personally, I’m not fond of “shit,” but my kids don’t use it anyway. Even the F-word is typically reserved for extreme situations.
They don’t use these words in their original context. If I overheard them using “shit” to mean poop, I would address it simply because it’s gross. And if they ever referred to a woman as a “bitch,” there would be serious consequences. They understand the difference, which is why I’m less concerned about them using certain curse words.
Words with Consequences
There are, however, words I will not tolerate in our home. If I ever caught my children using an ethnic slur, I would be furious. Such words signify hate and disrespect towards entire groups of people, and have no place in our lives. We actively avoid individuals who harbor such animosity.
Additionally, I prohibit two specific curse words because they are still associated with derogatory meanings: t*ts and c*nt. These terms are often used to demean women, and I won’t allow them in my household.
However, if they were to encounter a classic work like Shakespeare and come across a pun involving the c-word, I would explain it, rather than shaming them for it. It’s only fair they understand the context of a good joke.
Understanding Context
Ultimately, I don’t mind if my kids curse—though my partner does. When I hear them use bad language, I often remind them, “Don’t let your father catch you saying that; you know how he feels.” They are also aware that such language is inappropriate in public settings. I’d be upset if they yelled, “Oh, hell!” in a store. They know there are specific times and places where these words can be used, typically when we’re alone or certain adults aren’t around.
Most people wouldn’t even guess my kids curse; they wouldn’t use those words around others, especially not in front of adults who aren’t me.
The Bottom Line
Every word’s meaning is determined by its context. Most curse words are used as exclamations, stripped of their original implications. However, when those same words are directed at people, they become offensive. In our home, we don’t name-call or belittle others. If my children let out a “That’s a freaking pain” or “This is so hard!” I won’t object. Why should I? It’s just a word.
As long as they refrain from using curse words to insult others or refer to actual objects, I’m okay with it. I might even chuckle a little and let it slide. They understand the difference, and if they didn’t, we’d have a conversation about what’s appropriate. It’s a valuable life lesson that teaches them how to treat others.
After all, sometimes, a “Dammit!” is just what you need.
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Summary:
In this piece, a parent shares their perspective on their children’s use of curse words. They acknowledge that while they monitor language, they are more concerned with context and appropriateness rather than the words themselves. The article emphasizes the importance of understanding the meaning behind words and encourages conversations about respectful communication.
Keyphrase: children’s cursing and language use
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