As a divorced woman in my 40s, I’ve recently discovered the exhilarating world of casual encounters. Reflecting on my past, I recall a fleeting experience in my 20s that was supposed to be fun but left me with more questions than satisfaction. A guy I was infatuated with, who was set to move across the country, became my first foray into casual sex. I convinced myself I was enjoying it, but deep down, I felt overlooked and unsatisfied. Those late-night calls and knockings on my door left me feeling like an afterthought, and the intimate moments were far from fulfilling.
Perhaps it was loneliness that drove me to accept his casual advances, or a desire for someone to appreciate my efforts to feel attractive. Regardless, I hoped that I could change his perception and that passion would emerge. Spoiler alert: it never did. After he left, I promised myself I would never subject myself to such a hollow experience again. I was looking for something deeper—a partner, a father figure for my future children, and a meaningful connection.
Fast forward nearly 25 years, and after a two-decade marriage filled with love and respect, I find myself navigating through divorce. This shift in my life has drastically altered my viewpoint on casual relationships. With my busy life of work, parenting, and managing my home, I’m not interested in meeting anyone’s friends or spending the night cuddling; I value my personal space.
I’m done worrying about anyone’s feelings—especially when I have my own priorities, like my kids. I no longer seek affirmation from anyone regarding my choices or my appearance. The truth is, I want to explore a no-strings-attached connection. After my husband moved out, I realized I craved physical intimacy again. The absence of that energy was palpable, and my trusty vibrating companion just wasn’t cutting it anymore, if you catch my drift.
I now look forward to slipping into my favorite underwear, enjoying a nice dinner, and then indulging in a passionate connection, only to part ways afterward. The freedom of having my bed to myself is refreshing, and I prefer my child-free time spent with my sisters or friends. My intentions are clear; I’m not in the market for a relationship. I’m simply focused on satisfying my needs.
For the first time, I embrace this desire without shame or guilt. I’m not engaging with multiple partners—just one, as that’s all my schedule allows. It’s been fulfilling, empowering, and liberating. Women deserve the autonomy to explore their sexuality on their terms, and I’m here for it. I’ve outgrown the drama of my 20s and now, as a single mom in my 40s, I prioritize pleasure, lighthearted conversation, and nothing more. And it feels absolutely amazing.
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In summary, my journey through divorce has led me to a newfound appreciation for casual connections. I’ve learned to prioritize my desires and enjoy the freedom of intimacy without the emotional baggage that once weighed me down.