It wasn’t just my postpartum depression speaking, though it certainly played a role in how miserable I felt: I was isolated, overwhelmingly lonely, and often felt invisible. Sure, any new stay-at-home parent dealing with mental health challenges might echo those sentiments, but where was the proof? Could my feelings be substantiated? Didn’t everyone else experience the same thing? After all, they went to work, chatted with coworkers, and spent their days in an office. They didn’t have deep friendships, engage in philosophical debates, or share their joys and sorrows, right? This was especially true for men, who tend to have little social support and often return to the office while their female counterparts tend to stay home.
Back in 2016, anything I said about my situation felt relatively ordinary. I often went weeks without speaking to another adult, sometimes even days without seeing anyone. My responsibilities as a new parent—nursing, napping every couple of hours, pumping, and cleaning—kept me housebound.
So what?
“I just go to work. I don’t talk about my life. I feel lonely. Work isn’t socializing,” my partner would say.
“You don’t need to be friends with people to interact. They actually use their voices to talk to you,” I retorted. “They even look at you while doing it.”
“This isn’t a luxury. We’re all lonely; we’re all alone.”
Yes, you may feel lonely, but you’re not isolated. There’s a significant difference between feeling alone and experiencing true isolation, as I did.
Fast forward to 2019. I was now a stay-at-home mom of two, dealing with far fewer mental health issues than in 2016 but still feeling quite cut off from the world. I found it hard to see friends, get out, or even have conversations with others. This pattern continued until a few months ago when I was forced into isolation by the governor’s orders. This time, however, it wasn’t just me; everyone around me was experiencing it too.
My partner, who had left me feeling overwhelmed and alone back in 2016 with a newborn, was now among those told to work from home. And it turned out just fine. He spent more time with our kids! He spent more time with me! Instead of wasting hours on Reddit, he could finish his work in four hours and then focus on family time. It was incredible.
But then came the day he delivered a familiar sentiment that broke my heart. He expressed how much he enjoyed working from home but also found it challenging. When I asked why, he shared something that echoed my own words from years prior.
He admitted he felt isolated. He missed social interactions and longed to see his colleagues. He missed the small connections that make us human—people laughing at your jokes, shaking your hand, looking you in the eye. You hear their voices, see their faces, and truly connect with them.
And, for the first time, he understood what I had been trying to convey back in 2016.
I shed a few tears and instinctively exclaimed, “Exactly! This is what I’ve been saying for the past four years!”
Self-isolation became a shared experience for many just a few months ago. For others, however, it has been a reality for years, even decades. You don’t need to be quarantined to feel isolated. You don’t need societal validation to acknowledge your experiences. If you felt this way before the world turned upside down, just know that I see you. I recognize the additional layer of struggle that this pandemic has added to your life.
Some may argue that stay-at-home parents don’t experience isolation—that everyone, not just parents, lacks connection and that this is simply part of the role. While I can acknowledge the truth in those comments, I also recognize how narrow-minded they can be.
For four years, I felt trapped within four walls, surrounded by no one.
And now, finally, my partner understands.
If you’re interested in more insights related to this, check out this engaging blog post. For a comprehensive guide on home insemination, visit Make a Mom. Additionally, Healthline offers excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
This article explores the profound isolation that stay-at-home parents can experience, particularly in the context of mental health challenges. It reflects on how a global pandemic has shifted the understanding of isolation, as even those who once dismissed the challenges of stay-at-home parenting are now experiencing similar feelings. The author emphasizes the importance of acknowledging these feelings and the need for connection, regardless of societal validation.
Keyphrase: isolation as a stay-at-home parent
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]