Every time I venture out to the store with even a handful of my nine kids, I can count on receiving a mixture of curious glances and unsolicited comments from both kind-hearted and not-so-kind observers. Some are genuinely inquisitive, while others believe they’re being humorous with their remarks, as if I’m oblivious to the snide comments that come my way.
Taking four or five of my children out transforms any outing into a delightful circus—both for me and for those around us. I recognize that it’s not common to see a single parent with so many kids, and I understand how it can spark curiosity, intrigue, or even irritation. Honestly, my kids are downright adorable, and I take pride in that.
I’m frequently approached with the same questions and comments. Yes, I’m busy. Yes, my hands are full. And yes, they all share the same father—though that’s really none of your concern.
Let me make one thing clear: genuine questions and even misguided jokes don’t upset me, no matter how repetitive they may become. I’m more than happy to chat about my large family, and I don’t usually get flustered when someone stops me for the tenth time while I’m trying to manage a cranky toddler. I can overlook the concerned looks and sideways glances.
What Really Bothers Me
However, there are two things that really bother me, and I’d like to address them. First, please stop expressing pity. Comments like “You poor thing, I hope those kids give you a break,” or “I could never handle that many children; I’d lose my mind” are not welcome. My kids are not a burden, and I want them to know that they are the exact joy I’ve always craved in my life. I don’t want to hear phrases that imply my children are a source of stress or something I need relief from while they’re right beside me.
Sure, I often feel exhausted, just like any other parent. And yes, taking my kids shopping is far from relaxing. By the time we enter the store, I’m already on edge. But I don’t want my children to ever think that they’re a source of my fatigue or that I’d be better off without them. Kids are perceptive; they hear everything and can internalize those comments.
Life is tiring for everyone, regardless of the number of kids they have. I’m not a superhero; I’m just doing what anyone else would do—probably not as efficiently because I’m not the most organized person. I manage to get things done, but not always perfectly.
And to those who think they’d go crazy with a bunch of kids? You wouldn’t! You’d love each one beyond measure. Every child adds a unique richness to your life that you can’t imagine living without. You endure the tough moments because that’s what parenting is all about. Just like labor, you push through the pain because you know it’s worth it when you finally hold that little one in your arms.
I’m a better person because of my children, not in spite of them. Each moment of exhaustion is worth it, and I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything. If you feel the urge to pity me, kindly keep it to yourself.
Respecting Family Choices
Second, it’s inappropriate to assume that everyone wants opinions on their family size. Couples without children face similar scrutiny as those with large families, receiving incessant questions like “When will you start a family?” or “You’d make a great parent; you should definitely have kids!”
For some, these inquiries are painful. Many women desperately want children and go through immense heartache each month when faced with negative pregnancy tests. Their lives become filled with doctor visits and every possible remedy, from medical advice to old wives’ tales. And just when they’re holding it together, someone has to make an ignorant comment that can lead to a flood of emotions: fear, disappointment, anger, and grief.
Others may choose to wait or opt out of parenthood altogether for various reasons—health, finances, personal preference. But the opinions of others should never come into play.
So, if you see a mom with kids, no matter if there’s one or ten, assume she loves them and offer a friendly smile or a kind word. If you can’t do that, just walk on by. If you spot a woman without kids, remember that her journey is her own, and refrain from sharing your thoughts on why she should have children.
Life is challenging enough without the judgment of strangers. Let’s choose to extend kindness to one another instead of imposing our preferences on others.
For more insights on parenting and family dynamics, check out this other blog post that delves into similar themes. And if you’re interested in resources about pregnancy, visit womenshealth.gov for valuable information. Additionally, for those considering family planning, Make a Mom’s guide is a great authority on the topic of at-home insemination kits.
Summary
Navigating life as a mother of nine can be challenging, but it’s essential to reject pity and unsolicited opinions about family size. Each child brings unique joy, and it’s important to foster a positive environment for them. Kindness and understanding should be extended to all families, regardless of their size.
Keyphrase: Parenting with a Large Family
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